Tuesdays with Taryn~ Sometimes Happily Ever After Happens, AFTER... #TheEx #Life #History

The scariest thing for me in attending my class reunion was the possibility of facing my past. Not high school past, but my early twenties past, or more specifically someone from that time in my life.

I think I finally stopped holding my breath when I realized my ex-fiance wasn't coming. We met up a couple years after our class's graduation, when he started working at the assembly factory where I worked in pad printing. The irony was that he didn't remember me from school~at all~ but he seemed to have it bad for me from the moment we met and even once told me that he went home after that first day at work, lay in his bed and thought to himself, "That's the woman I'm going to marry someday." In fact, I believe he'd told his dad that.

Honestly, I'm not sure if anyone we went to school with even knew we had a relationship but for a fair few who also worked at the same place or those we occasionally ran into when we were out and about. We dated from 1995-1999, off and on, and we were engaged 3 times during those on again off again years.

His encouragement, along with his mom's, was the reason I went for my GED. They were my cheerleaders urging me to accomplish that goal for myself, especially when I had gone for the pre-test the year before but was told I needed to study before I could go for testing. I'd let it go because I had work and other things going on in my life that took precedence, but a return trip to the GED office revealed that my pre-test scores were so high, I could have gone for the test the first time around, so the woman I spoke with set me up for the upcoming tests. He was the one who took me to Frankfort and sat in the car for hours those weekends I had to go for testing.

It was a roller-coaster relationship that had a lot of good times, but also a lot of very sad, hard times that hurt us both on so many levels, I know. I was his "Pretty Eyes" and I felt loved for the majority of that relationship. Even when I didn't know if I loved him anymore and had broken up with him, he was there for me, trumping through 2 foot of snow, across town to get me a birthday present and bring it to me. We had fun together but I know I was also a lot younger and I'm sure I made life a living hell sometimes when I got moody or irritable. He tried to put up with me, even when I was the grumpiest grump grump under the sun. By the end, I sometimes think that he hated me though...after all we put each other through.

Our official, FINAL "ending" was a new beginning for both of us. He married someone else within a year of breaking things off with me, leaving me feeling a bit like Ally McBeal- Do you remember that moment when she realized that the reason her and Billy's relationship ended wasn't because he didn't want to get married, it was just that he didn't want to marry her?

That's how I felt....It shouldn't have hurt so badly after a year, but it came as a bit of a shock to realize that we'd spent years going back and forth over when we'd get married and then he married this other woman after he'd only been with her a year. Seeing him come through my line at the grocery store was hell too- seeing that wedding band on his finger- and still thinking in that deepest part of my heart that he was supposed to be mine for the rest of our lives. He had promised me his love forever and vowed that nothing anyone said would EVER change how he felt about me.

Where was our happily ever after? It was clear then, that any inkling of love he'd once held for me was gone or buried, when he wouldn't or couldn't even take off his sunglasses in the store and look me in the eye when he came through my line, which he did quite often in the afternoons. And every time he left, one of my fellow co-workers would give me a break from the register so I could go to the back storeroom and cry.

I was damaged for a while after that, emotionally, left with questions about who I was as a person if I wasn't with him? What my worth was, if I couldn't be what he wanted and needed? And how had it all ended so badly? I wasn't sure I was worthy of being loved by anyone after that, much as I wanted to be loved, I always felt lacking. My best wasn't good enough. Not for him and probably not for anyone else.

He had been supportive of my dream to become a writer and I was doing a writing workshop as our relationship began to implode upon itself. I had believed I was on the path I was meant to be on in my journey to becoming a published author, but then he pulled the rug out from under me, when other people started questioning him about how we'd survive if we got married when I was such a dreamer, chasing that unicorn I might never catch and filling his head with doubts and fears. There was no way to survive on just his income and he couldn't "love me" if I didn't have a real job...

That revelation shook the very foundation of my idea of "unconditional" true love that was supposed to last forever into that Happily Ever After. Once our relationship ended, I also stopped writing.

What did I know about writing romance? Love stories? How could I write about love, when I didn't know it & didn't have it? I stopped caring about my writing and I put it away for a very long time....

But, it was one of those awkward moments you read about but luckily the pain and embarrassment was averted. Maybe he didn't know about the reunion. Maybe he just had no interesting in coming. Maybe he knew I was going to be there and was hoping to avoid me. Who's to say? I don't think it would bother me to have run into him after all these years have passed, it just might have been weird, more than anything.

But the thing is, I'm older now and I found my joy again in writing and I try very hard not to let anyone else steal it from me anymore. I know who I am and I'm still finding my place- it's down a long and winding road, out past the fear and self-doubt and insecurities that I carried away from that time in my life. And I'm proof that you can chase that dream and catch that unicorn....its a shame he allowed others to make him doubt me...

That ending was my new beginning...as I began again a few times, which I think we all do throughout our lives...always moving, always changing, reinventing, and always adjusting to what Life throws our way. Sometimes that Happily Ever After happens, AFTER.

Taryn's Snippit Sundays~ A mermaid? CASTAWAY HEARTS #excerpt

A riotous slosh sounded in an alcove to his left and captured his attention. Inch by inch, he guided Gypsy closer to the rocky cliff, afraid of what he might find there. He thought perhaps a fish or some other sea creature had washed ashore, unable to make its way back out to sea.

As he stole closer, he made out the form, but it was not a fish or any other animal he had ever seen wash up on the beach before.

Wrapped in wispy white fabric that rippled in the wind, a ghostly female figure began to solidify in his sight. Dawson pulled Gypsy to a standstill. It reminded him of mermaid stories he had heard as a child, but this was no mermaid. This was an apparition, floating along on the breeze.

The fabric she wore was so thin he could make out the supple curves of her breasts, his eyes traveling down over her full hips, and the long slender legs that carried her to the water’s edge.

Dawson rubbed his eyes with his fists. Surely, the moonlight had deceived him.

Nurture A Feeling of Love to Last All Year Long #Valentines

♥♥♥ Happy Valentine's Day ♥♥♥
"Love~ an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."

Last year, I believe I posted that it's my belief that Valentine's Day isn't just for lovers. It's for anyone who has love in their heart for their fellow man, woman, parent, child, siblings, friends, even strangers. It's the one day that we all agree upon to shower those we love with things "from the heart."

Some people absolutely adore and relish the idea of this day of love while others resent it with a mad fiery passion. I prefer to enjoy it as a day that just serves as a nice reminder to always be my kindest, always show love and compassion to my family and friends and strangers and try to remember to nurture these relationships with the love and respect they so deserve, all year long.

Life is an extensive journey, if we're really lucky, and we spend it with a variety of people, who come and go, throughout that lifetime. I'd never want any of my family or friends to think that they were alone in this world. I hope that when it boils down to it, they all know that there is someone out there who loves them dearly, even when they feel they've hit rock bottom or when it feels like no other soul on earth understands or cares.

I am lucky to have a husband who sees the nurturing side of me and who thinks about that quite often when he gets me flowers for special occasions. Below in the picture are the begonias he got me last week for my birthday and next to them (on the right) are the mini roses he got me yesterday for Valentine's Day.

Both flowers need nurturing, though the begonia is going to be difficult- not too much water but not too little and it seems to be a very sensitive plant. My mom said she never had luck with them because she always killed them and by what I found out when I looked them up, I might have a hard time with these, but I'm willing to give it a chance.

When my husband brought in the mini roses yesterday, they were puny and sad looking, full of old dead leaves and very dry soil. He said, "These looked like they could use some love." 

So he brought them to me. We'll see. I hope I have a heart full enough of love to nurture both these plants and keep them alive. Maybe they'll even bloom so beautifully, I'll have to share them again some time here on the blog.

Nurture those you love, not just today, but everyday~

I wish you great love, laughter and joy this

Valentine's Day.

May it fill your heart to overflowing.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥  

A Touch of Hearth & Home~ Seasonal Scents of Love

I think one of the strongest things attached to my memories of this time of year are the scents I associate with Thanksgiving and Christmas. There's comfort and warmth and the feeling of love that emanates from food, from homes, and even those outdoorsy smells we notice less or not at all in the warmer months of the year.

Some of those things are just simply more common to the fall and winter months, so it makes a lot of sense that I would associate things like apples and cinnamon or the sweet luscious mixture of apple cider with brown sugar and other spices- cinnamon as well as clove and nutmeg with the holidays. There's a feeling of comfort in sipping the hot liquid, the slight tingle of the spices on your tongue and in your throat.

As a child, the smell of those mixed apple and orange fruit bags planted me firmly in my grandparents house, peeling back the thick skin on a navel orange and then squeezing the oils so that they spritzed against the side of the wood stove, the sizzle as it hit and the aroma of orange filling the air, nearly burning your eyes with its pungent odor. But man, did it smell so good!

Oranges also smell delicious with whole cloves. Piercing the outer peel with those fragrant little stems fills the house with comfort and reminds me of my mom, who does this often. I just looked it up and found out it's called an Orange and Clove Pomander (here's a tutorial if you feel like being crafty.)

Another favorite smell of mine is pumpkin pie or one of those pumpkin rolls or logs. There's just something about the sweet rich aroma of pumpkin and spices, topped with whipped topping. My mom makes this fluffy Pumpkin Chiffon pie that's to die for! It has a light texture that's more airy than a traditional pumpkin pie, really more of a jelled set pudding pie and it's scrumptious- in aroma and flavor.

Another good one is sweet sugar cookies, baked with vanilla. It's soft and warm, and hints of the care and kindness and love that goes into baking and filling your home with the wonderful goodies, the aroma that greets the kids at the door when they come in on a cold winter afternoon after school.

And let's not forget the great outdoors. Though we'd generally rather stay in at this time of year, there is something wondrous and comforting when you step out into a bitterly cold night- one of those nights where you can almost "smell" the cold- the froze dampness of dead dry leaves and the hint of snow in the air as your breath materializes before you.

I take a deep breath and hold it, latching onto memories of time long past. Nothing hearkens me back to my childhood more than a cold blustery day when I can feel the tingling in my ears and my throat, when the wind stings my eyes. It's times like that when the woodsy odor of pine and cedar fills the air and the comforting tang of wood burning in someone's fireplace or furnace suffuses itself to me, clinging to my clothes and weaving it's way into every fiber of my being.

It's that touch of hearth and home that gets me, every time, that fills me with the knowledge that I'm HOME and I'm LOVED and really, that's what it's all about. (Here are a couple of the great smells I've discovered recently- Air Wick Apple & Shimmering Spice and Air Wick Vanilla Sugar Sparkle. One of Glade's Limited time Winter scents- Nutcracker Crunch, which smells of walnuts and mocha- delicious! Glade's Limited time Fall scent- Maple Pumpkin. Yummy!)

What are YOUR favorite scents this time of year? What brings back fond memories?

Have a SCENTsational Saturday!

The Party Continues- Christmas with Catherine & Dawson, Part 2. Come join us!

Good morning and welcome back to Christmas with Catherine and Dawson. I'm glad you've joined us! The winner of Part 1 has already been randomly selected and notified, as well as announced on the Rafflecopter widget on that giveaway post.

There's a common thread between the holidays and Catherine and Dawson and it's that spirit of belief, in believing that LOVE is the greatest thing of all. It's having faith to see things through and hope that all is not lost. It takes a while for Catherine and Dawson to believe in their love for each other and even then, obstacles being what they are, there are times when it does seem all hope is lost.

It's moments like those in life, that we should really grasp hold of and believe even harder in love and each other. Christmas shouldn't be the only time we believe in the goodness of others or show kindness and gratitude and appreciation. We must think with our heads, but I think we should BELIEVE and love with all our hearts.

Enjoy this time of year and believe in the greatness of others because you might just be the light in the darkness for someone else. Happy Holidays! Now for the best part!

This the 2nd of 3 Christmas with Catherine and Dawson Giveaways. Each contest begins on Monday and end on Sunday between now and the holidays. I will contact the winner for address information and I will ship the prize as soon as I'm able once the contest has ended. 

Pictured above, a Candle holder with candles to "light the way" and a Golden "Believe" tabletop decoration, and 1 SIGNED print copy of Castaway Hearts, bookmark and each of my 4 business cards (for you to keep or give away to others you think might be interested.) I am also including a few "secret Santa" type holiday items as well, but Shhhh.....those are secret, after all!

Please follow the instructions below on the Rafflecopter widget for your chances to win! There are several ways to play. We've enjoyed having you join us!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thursdays with Taryn- Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving mornings when I was growing up were usually a rush shortly after sunrise for my family to pile into my dad's cold work van or our car so he could deliver my mom, my younger sister and myself down to my grandparents' house. He'd usually have some work-related job to do until lunchtime, so he'd drop us off and head back home to do some wood-working thing in the basement. Sometimes I think that was what the men in the family did anyway to stay out of the house and away from the womenfolk so they weren't asked for any help. My grandpa and uncles could usually be found piddling around down in the junk yard or in the mule lot. :)

In the meantime, my mom would set to work with my grandma and my aunt in the kitchen, preparing the Thanksgiving meal which always consisted of the majority of items in the picture above- turkey, dressing, gravy with bits of turkey in it and sometimes there were bits of giblets (blech). Homemade mashed potatoes and green beans, brown and serve rolls, and can shaped cranberry gel as well as the other kind. My mom and aunt would sometimes make a separate pan of oyster dressing for them and my one uncle who loved it. And then there was my mom's pumpkin chiffon pies. She still makes those and OH MY! They are goo--oood!

My sister and I were usually underfoot, but Grandma would often give us the job of taste-testing the dressing once they had it mixed up and we'd basically stuff our faces while sitting in front of the boob tube watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade near the potbellied stove, keeping toasty. When mealtime came, everyone gathered around, grown-ups at the big table and us kids at the old rickety card table...the same one that I would try to build houses of cards on.

I don't remember any tradition of going around and saying what we were thankful for, but to my way of viewing it, I think it was because we all knew we were thankful for each other and for time together. It was a given, we spent every Saturday at my grandparents' house anyway, but Thanksgiving was a warm time that was filled with family and good food and lots of voices talking over one another.

Afterwards, when it got dark, Grandpa would flip the switch on the outdoor Christmas lights and we'd all gather out there, bundled up, with cold breath and warm hearts, staring in awe at the multicolored lights that ran the length of the junkyard fence on either side of the house and the old plastic lighted hoot owls in the tree and Santa in his sleigh with his reindeer on the roof. (My mom made Grandpa a wooden painted set with her jig saw). I have no doubt it's where my love of Christmas and decorating with lots of bright lights comes from. It was magical and inspiring and made me appreciate my life, my family and the love of those around me.

A lot has changed though, since those bygone holidays. Now my mom does Thanksgiving at her house and I go up so that she and my sister and I can put together the meal at my parents' house. Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle Kenny and Aunt Carol and Aunt Debbie Roses and Aunt Faye are no longer with us. This year is especially hard after losing Debbie, but we're gathering together and we'll remember them with all the love in our hearts and give thanks for all the times we had with them, as well as give thanks for each other- even if we don't say it....we don't have.

We KNOW it.

Hope your Thanksgiving is FILLED with festive holiday gatherings, lots of good food and the abundance of LOVE that surrounds you. I'm thankful for those of you who take the time to come by and visit my blog. There might not ever be a lot of chatter on the comments, but I do know when I've had visitors and I'm so VERY thankful and appreciative that you've been here.

Happy Thanksgiving- Have a wonderful day with your loved ones and enjoy this day of rest!

I Knew a Brave Soul Who was a #Miracle on Earth

(Left: me with my Aunt Debbie when I was maybe 2-3 years old)

I just lost someone very special in my life this week. My mom's baby sister, my Aunt Diggy- as I called her until I could pronounce Debbie. After that she became my Debbie Roses (though her middle name was simply Rose). My memories of her are always of a vibrant, outgoing, caring young woman.

When I was growing up, she was just as much a role model for me as my mom and my cousin Carol (who I call Bubba). I always associate the three of them with the 3 Musketeers- "All for one and One for All"  because though two were sisters and one was not, they were thick as thieves.

I wouldn't trade these three women for the world because a lot of the fabric of who I am is woven from the things I learned from them about life and love, so this is a very sad time in my life. In some respects, I probably chose my pen name because of her. Raye is my middle name, but she always called me "Miss Raye" when I was a kid.

"Whatcha doing Miss Raye?" "How's it going, Miss Raye?" "I love you, Miss Raye."

Somehow I think that was in the back of my mind when I chose Taryn Raye as my pen.

 (Right: Debbie with my Grandpa's dog, Molly)

Growing up, we spent almost every Saturday down at my grandparents' house and my aunt still lived there with them. I remember walking along the edge of the road near the mailbox with her to pick flowers for my mom when she was in the hospital having my baby sister when I was three. And I've heard the story a hundred times how the flowers were full of fleas and my mom had to throw them away. I will continue to tell that story to my daughter, so that it keeps the memory alive.

From the time I was old enough to stayed overnight at my grandparents, I slept in Debbie's twin size bed with her as well as a few cats and dogs. Staying all night at Thanksgiving or during winter months was brutal, as her room didn't have a coal or wood burning stove, so we were piled up beneath electric blankets and stacks of quilts. If you had to get up in the night to use the bathroom you'd better hope you had thick socks on to keep your bare feet from smacking the ice cold wood floor that only had a few scatter rugs. Brrr....

I remember climbing over old car bodies in the junk yard with her to go find a can of liniment for a cut and helping gather eggs from the chickens. I remember her insistence on saving a little runt out of a litter of pigs and naming him Wee Willy and putting him in a pen out behind the house. I'd run straight through the house every Saturday to go bounding out the backdoor to see him and he'd run up and down the wire fence like a puppy excited to see his playmate.

(Left: Being silly)

She and I spent a lot of time doing adventure scavenger hunts under rocks for roly-polys and ants and other things in wildlife that she thought were interesting and it created in me a sense of wonder about nature and the world around me. I learned about the life cycle of mosquitoes standing on an upside-down slop bucket while peering over the wooden beams of the cows' stall— Cows she had named Fred and Barney, much to my grandpa's dismay. (As he would have said- you don't name it if you're going to eat it.)

She shimmied up apple trees at my grandpa's urging to get me little sour green apples to eat with salt and scared as I was (am) of wasps and stinging bugs, she'd never kill one. She would catch it in a jar or a cup and release it outside. "They're just as scared of you as you are of them," she would always tell me. (I'm still not sure I believe that when I get dive-bombed by a wasp in my house. LOL)

(Pictured at right- My mom, Grandma & Aunt)

She loved the horses, mules and ponies my grandpa had and I remember when Big Kurt (the largest red mule I'd ever seen) kicked her and bruised her up badly. I remember when she worked at the Dollar Store and would pick us up a box of Fiddle Faddle when I'd ride with my uncle to go pick her up from work.

The majority of my time at my grandparents' was spent in her room, playing dress up with her make-up, pretending her bedroom was my grown-up apartment. I sat in front of the dresser with the large round mirror and put on lavender eyeshadow and pink blush and painted my nails with her Love My Nails "Candy Kisses" iridescent pink polish.

(Left: when she was in for a visit once)

 I listened to her record albums. I read her short story about a young woman who was trying to take care of the farm and her brother after their parents died (she wanted to be a writer and that inspired me) and I typed things on her Brother typewriter. I rifled through the books on her book shelves. In fact, that's where I discovered V.C. Andrews' Dollanganger Series- Flowers in the Attic and the other 3 books scared the bejeebers out of me, but I loved them. My momma had to MAKE me give them back, but then Debbie turned around and gave them to me because she didn't plan to read them and she knew how much I loved them.

My aunt was kind, loving and nurturing, always caring for strays and runts and things that she didn't think could fend for themselves. She married and moved away to western Kentucky before I was grown, but we always looked forward to her visits "back home" and it was cause for celebration. She was like sunshine bottled in human form and could brighten and cheer you up, even when it didn't seem possible.

My aunt wanted children, but by the time she married and tried, she discovered she couldn't have children because of Endometriosis. Still, she took in cats and dogs and birds and loved them as her babies. She taught me how to do plastic canvas and other crafts when I went down and spent a week with her one summer when I was maybe fifteen or sixteen.

(Right: playing my mom's N64 video game)

That was before the accident when she fell into the glass china cabinet doors and lost so much blood before the ambulance got there that we almost lost her. Though she lost the feeling in her left hand, she did learn to live with her disability rather than letting it hinder her.

 

The most devastating blow came in 2004 when she started having problems with her speech, memory and had swelling in and around her eye. It turned out to be a brain tumor, Stage 4 and though they were able to operate and remove the mass that was causing the swelling and motor skill issues, they weren't able to get it all. In fact, the doctors never gave a time frame with which to base her life expectancy because at Stage 4, as bad as it was, even with surgery and aggressive chemo and radiation, the doctors didn't think she would survive.

This is how I know I knew a brave soul who was a miracle on this earth. She stuck with the chemo and radiation though it made her sick as a dog and not always as strong as she tried to be. She adapted to a diet, that though odd to most everyone else (black olives with their juice and buttermilk for breakfast, for example) that nourished her and fed her body and kept her at a healthy weight. She had faith and hope and she survived. She locked horns with the cancer and she was winning. Well, winning as well as you can when cancer is that far gone.

So this is in memory of my aunt—Rest in peace Aunt Diggy, knowing we will love you always and will never forget your bravery, your strength, your faith, your smile or the size of your heart.

I believe Miracles exist.

When diagnosed with brain cancer, the doctors gave her no time frame. But she was blessed with time, as that was 8 years ago and we were also blessed to get to keep her around that much longer.

We love you and will miss you~Forever and always yours~ "Miss Raye"

#ThursdayswithTaryn @DianeIStrong

 

Impromptu Thursdays with Taryn 

with Diane Strong

It's my pleasure to guest a fellow KY Indie Writer, Diane Strong, who writes The Running Suspense Series. If you like Stephen King style suspense, you'll like these.

What book(s) most influenced you as a writer? I loved The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evens is the one that comes to mind.  I was living in Montana when the book was published so I knew all the places he was talking about.  I am a recovering horse-person so it touched a place in my heart.  I was also very young.  But the way he painted the story in my mind made me aspire to do the same.

What book do you read over and over again?  None.  If I ever catch up on my to-read list I don’t have a clue which book I would choose to read again.

Thursday Trio-

1)      Movie- Stand By Me (I know, I fell in love with it when I was 12 and haven’t gotten over it yet)

2)      Music- everything except Jazz…cause I don’t know how to dance to it.

3)      Decadent Dessert- Cheese cake with dark chocolate drizzled on it.

What’s the most interesting or bizarre bit of trivia you’ve learned from researching for a novel?  At sixteen, Amish children are encouraged to go out and experience the world on what they call ‘rumspringa’ (you’ve probably heard of it) but what surprised me is that they are not baptized in the Amish way until they choose to be after rumspringa.  If someone choses to be baptized, then leaves the Way, they can be shunned.  But if you come back from rumspringa and chose not to be baptized you are not shunned.  Cool hu?

Novel on your Nightstand:

Who/what are you currently reading?  Good Harbor by Anita Diamant (because I enjoyed The Red Tent) but if I can get a copy of Wild by Cheryl Strayed I’ll drop it and pick it up later.

Whom would you cast as your Hero & Heroine if your book became a movie?

I would cast Ryan Hall, the Olympic Marathoner, as Isaac Fisher…I can do that right?  I mean, he isn’t an actor but he can run, just like Isaac.  Ryan is Mormon and Isaac was Amish and I think that might add dimensionJ

Click Image at left to purchase on Amazon for Kindle.

The Other Way Blurb:

Isaac Fisher was not born a runner, he was born Amish. After getting a girl pregnant while exploring rumspringa at sixteen, he left the Amish community and ventured to the new world to become the girl’s husband. Now, four years and two children later, Isaac can’t help but sneak back home on his long runs for a feel of his past life and the taste of an old lover.

It is also available at Smashwords and will soon be available from other retailers such as Barnes and Noble.

Biography

Diane Strong lives in Kentucky with her husband and their two children. She received a liberal arts degree at Itasca Community College, a Bachelors of Science in Psychology and Equine Studies from Rocky Mountain College in Billings, Montana and a Master's degree in Veterinary Science from the University of Kentucky.

She writes a small column for the Georgetown News Graphic and homeschools her children. In her spare time she competes in road races, triathlons and adventure races. She is the founder of the Georgetown Run Club and Intellectual Society. She loves what she does.

You can find out more about Diane and her Running Suspense series on her

 Smashwords Author Page 

Also- if you'd like a sample of Diane's writing-

The Run Book #1

is currently FREE on Smashwords

(and soon to be free on Amazon and at other online retailers)

and on her site-

The Running Commentary

#SCENTsational Saturdays- Fave Number 7- Degree Sexy Intrigue

Rich jasmine and exotic red rose blend sensuously with strawberries, blackberries, and peaches. While sultry back notes of creamy sandalwood and amber mingle with Tahitian vanilla for an addictive scent that’s sure to leave a lasting impression.

This is one of my new favorites and it's not even a brand name perfume, but an accompanying fragrance to be used with the Degree Sexy Intrigue Deodorant. It's soft, sweet and makes me think of warm summer nights, sweet goodnight kisses, and a lover's embrace. It's youthful, but mature and smells absolutely fantastic.

In fact, it kind of makes me feel like this new Maroon 5 song- Love Somebody. No video yet, but would love to see one.

Have a SCENTsational Saturday!

Favorite #Books Spotlight- Persuasion by Jane Austen #memories #Love #Romance #Life

I first encountered Jane Austen’s Anne Elliot and Captain Wentworth in the 1995 BBC TV-film adaptation starring Amanda Root and Ciaran Hinds and I instantly fell in love with their story. I love Sense & Sensibility, Emma and Pride & Prejudice (Colin Firth is my one and only Mr. Darcy as far as I'm concerned), but Persuasion would have to be my favorite of the ones I know. I've yet to read or watch Northanger Abbey or Mansfield Park. I also have a couple of "short" stories also by Austen on my Kindle that I'm eager to find time to read.

But...there is not a time I’ve watched Persuasion since then that I have not rooted for their happily ever after and zipped through a box of tissues in tears because it's a beautiful story of love finding it's way back home and how strong two people's emotions can be, even when they've been separated by time, distance, place in life, and the persuasion of others against what they know in their hearts is right and true. This is a true-love-is-eternal story- feelings don't just disappear even if you have to go your separate ways. Sometimes, if you're lucky enough, you might just be able to find that love again. And sometimes it's better that you let go when you did...

Years ago, an EX, knowing my penchant for all things writing related, especially favorite literature, had gone out of town for work related training. I can't remember if it was when he went Atlanta or when he went to one of the training facilities in Tennessee, but we hadn't been apart much of our relationship and when he was gone on those long trips, it was usually for a few weeks at a time and we missed each other dreadfully and he'd call me when he could. On one of those trips he came back with all kinds of sweet little gifts for me that were Coca-Cola Polar Bear-related (something else that was a favorite of mine)- a cool ink pen with a matching diary and a deck of playing cards.

Another time, he went shopping at a bookstore, I believe it was a Waldenbooks, and he came home with this beautiful three-volume leather bound set of The Complete Novels of Jane Austen for me, just because. When I finally read the book I had an even deeper love of the story because the adaptation to film presented the story beautifully and brought those already vivid characters and their love to life on the screen.

I found this description of the set online-

The Complete Novels of Jane Austen, 3 Volumes

Tally Hall Press, 1996

This is a very attractive 3 volume leather bound set of “The Complete Novels of Jane Austen” published by Tally Hall Press, Ann Arbor in 1996. The books in the set are:

Volume 1 - Sense and Sensibility & Pride and Prejudice; Maroon Leather

Volume 2 - Mansfield Park & Emma; Dark Blue Leather

Volume 3 - Northanger Abbey & Persuasion; Black Leather

Each book is bound in different color full leather covered boards and features raised ribs on the spine, gold gilt on spine and cover, gilded edges, satin ribbon markers, and marbled endpapers.

A few of my favorite quotes-

"A man does not recover from such a devotion of the heart to such a woman! He ought not; he does not."


"I mean while the woman you love lives, and lives for you. All the privilege I claim for my own sex (it is not a very enviable one; you need not covet it), is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone."

and best of all- Captain Wentworth's letter to Anne, which always, ALWAYS, makes me cry....

"'I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in

F. W. 

'I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never.'"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Needless to say, it was a gift that brought tears of appreciation and love at the time. Even now, when I look at them and feel the weight of them in my hand, I still appreciate what a thoughtful loving gift it was, even though that relationship ended a long time ago. Those relationships in the past help shape our present selves whether we like to admit it or not. I think a lot of people look back on old relationships and see only the bad parts, but to me, there's still room in this ol' heart to remember that there were also redeemable qualities about the other men in my past that made me love them, and if not for where I was then and the road I traveled since, I would not be where I am or WHO I am today.

Time Flies...We Haven't Killed Each Other Yet... #Marriage #Love #Anniversary

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”
Katherine Hepburn

Eleven years ago my husband and I met via one of those online dating sites in April 2001. Family and friends worried about me meeting some stranger who lived so far away from my hometown. We continued talking and chatting and by Labor Day weekend that year I had moved in, but it wasn't until June 7, 2002 that we said I do- Today marks our 10th anniversary and I'm utterly astounded to realize it's been that long. A decade had come and gone and boy, did it go by quickly.

Moreover, I'm not going to lie- I'm shocked and amazed we've lasted this long. Marriage is such a disposable commodity in this day and age and I used to think it was crazy just how often people I knew married and then divorced not long afterward. What was wrong with them? Marriage wasn't something to be taken lightly, or at least I didn't think so because I grew up believing that marriage is truly till death do you part. Divorce was not something common in my family history- My parents are still together, my grandparents on either side of my family had never been divorced- they truly were "till death do us part."

Of course, ten years of marriage has taught me a bit about why some marriages last and others don't and it has changed my views on it. Sometimes it might be better to go your separate ways, but you should still work at it first to be sure. One thing I know is that it's not always easy and we had our share of struggles(sometimes still do when we don't agree on things) because it's hard to take two individuals and blend their lives into one. Even something as great as a chocolate and vanilla swirl cone takes work- the mechanics (of the machine) have work together properly to get that swirly blend of heavenly soft-serve perfection. And so it is with marriage...even with warnings from family and friends that "marriage takes a lot of work" and "you don't know EVERYTHING there is to know about this person" it doesn't sink in until later. Much later...

Because it's later when you realize you've married someone with odd quirks and idiosyncrasies that you never noticed before in the initial first stages of the relationship, when the strange things they do are "cute" or "funny." Soon you realize that you're married to someone who sometimes isn't pleasant, who can be downright annoying and irritating or just plain get under your skin until you want to pull out your hair- or theirs.

No matter how romantic they were in the beginning- dedicating songs like "Amazed" by Lonestar to you, you start to find you're "amazed" you haven't suffocated them with their pillow in their sleep because they snore like a freight train rambling through the bedroom at all hours of the night. And it doesn't affect them- but by sun-up, you look a little worse for wear and you become the grumpy one to live with, gritting your teeth as they smile after a good night's sleep and ask you what's the matter.

I know I'm no great shakes when it comes to living with me. I can be extremely irritable when the old hormones kick in and out, which seems anymore to sputter through my system without fair warning as I get older. My husband can attest to the fact that I can be unpleasant (and so can the kids).

There was a time we were "lost" in our marriage though and I was ready to give up- just as I had seen others do before. It's hard to blend together as a husband and wife but even harder to keep your identity when you become part of a whole. That's the thing they don't tell you about marriage- that it's okay to still be YOU, even though you now share your life with someone else who's just as different and individual. I struggled with whether I was losing my identity and that took it's toll because I didn't know where I stood or whether I wanted to be standing there or not.

It took time, but we worked through the problems, which is simply what you have to do. I guess that's part of the surprise that we've made it ten years- Not all couples survive this first decade- some give up, some give it all they have and still find it's just not enough, but then there are the lucky ones who take each other, faults and all, and find a way to piece it together so that the threads mesh together and they can continue onward.

The stories of love I write are the precursors to this mythological creature we chase- the antiquated idea that marriage lasts a lifetime- or a relationship can do that. I still subscribe to the belief that marriages can be built to last and that's why I love writing romantic tales because I believe there is a happily-ever-after on the other side of "The End" whether it lasts 10 years or several decades.

Happy 10 Years Hubby! Let's tack another 10 onto this one.

#SCENTsational Saturdays- The Way to a Man's ♥- Meatballs

The Way to a Man's ♥Heart♥

Homemade Meatballs

In my current work-in-progress, Perfect Recipe for Love, Ben runs a restaurant called "Ben There, Ate That" and in one scene, he and the heroine, Sunni, are at the restaurant where she's learning the ropes about cooking. I attribute this very same recipe of mine, to Ben, as he explains to Sunni about growing up with four brothers and a single mom. His creativity in the kitchen had always been a blessing, as his meatball recipe stretched the meat just a little bit farther for their family when money was tight, so they could make two meals out of one. Now he uses it as a signature item on his menu for either spaghetti dishes or sub sandwiches.

I love this scene, as Ben, who's very close-off emotionally, gives Sunni a glimpse into himself and his past. Ben puts love into his food and that, to me, is a quality also about the way to a man's heart. He understands that the best and most delectable foods comes from being passionate about cooking, the love and care that goes into making it and is also proof that he's not as closed-off emotionally as he thinks.

Now, I'm not a fan of store-bought meatballs, because it always puts me in the mind of the Chef Boyardee I ate as a kid. My husband loves meatballs and he's not a fan of store-bought ones either. His mom has a recipe he wants, but she teases that he won't get it until she's gone, so we decided we'd just have to come up with something of our own. (That's something else I've learned about men, or at least my husband- if we create a dish together, it goes straight to his heart, too because it's "ours" and nobody else can claim it.)

I started with the basic ingredients from my meatloaf recipe- the pound of ground beef, onion, egg, then switched out the quick oats I normally use and replaced them with crushed saltines. Then I added Parmesan, garlic powder, Italian seasoning and garlic pepper for flavor and instead of using plain old ketchup I mixed in a little spaghetti sauce to moisten.

Surprisingly, this recipe turned out great the very first time I made it and it went over well with my husband and the kids. In fact, it turns out good every time. It works great for spaghetti and subs.

 

 1 package saltines, finely crushed

1/2-3/4 cup parmesan cheese

Garlic Powder

Italian Seasoning

Garlic Pepper 

1 lb lean ground beef

1 egg

½ of a finely diced sweet onion

1/2-1 cup, approximately, spaghetti sauce

Directions- Preheat oven to 350º

1.)                Crush saltines in Ziploc bag until fine. Add parmesan cheese, a few dashes of garlic powder, Italian Seasoning and Garlic Pepper. (I measure this by eye- as to what I think looks about right.) Seal bag again and shake until mixed thoroughly.

2.)                In large bowl, mix hamburger, egg, diced onion and spaghetti sauce by hand until well combined. Mix in cracker mixture, until it holds together firmly as if you were making a meatloaf.

3.)                Spray foil lined large cookie sheet with cooking spray. Shape into balls and place on cookie sheet. Bake in oven for 15 minutes at 350º. Remove from oven and turn over then bake for another 15 minutes till golden brown.

4.)                Place in large covered pan with spaghetti sauce(I used 2 jars to cover all meatballs) to simmer on low until all is hot and can be served over spaghetti.

Hope you have a SCENTsational Saturday!