Time Flies...We Haven't Killed Each Other Yet... #Marriage #Love #Anniversary

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”
Katherine Hepburn

Eleven years ago my husband and I met via one of those online dating sites in April 2001. Family and friends worried about me meeting some stranger who lived so far away from my hometown. We continued talking and chatting and by Labor Day weekend that year I had moved in, but it wasn't until June 7, 2002 that we said I do- Today marks our 10th anniversary and I'm utterly astounded to realize it's been that long. A decade had come and gone and boy, did it go by quickly.

Moreover, I'm not going to lie- I'm shocked and amazed we've lasted this long. Marriage is such a disposable commodity in this day and age and I used to think it was crazy just how often people I knew married and then divorced not long afterward. What was wrong with them? Marriage wasn't something to be taken lightly, or at least I didn't think so because I grew up believing that marriage is truly till death do you part. Divorce was not something common in my family history- My parents are still together, my grandparents on either side of my family had never been divorced- they truly were "till death do us part."

Of course, ten years of marriage has taught me a bit about why some marriages last and others don't and it has changed my views on it. Sometimes it might be better to go your separate ways, but you should still work at it first to be sure. One thing I know is that it's not always easy and we had our share of struggles(sometimes still do when we don't agree on things) because it's hard to take two individuals and blend their lives into one. Even something as great as a chocolate and vanilla swirl cone takes work- the mechanics (of the machine) have work together properly to get that swirly blend of heavenly soft-serve perfection. And so it is with marriage...even with warnings from family and friends that "marriage takes a lot of work" and "you don't know EVERYTHING there is to know about this person" it doesn't sink in until later. Much later...

Because it's later when you realize you've married someone with odd quirks and idiosyncrasies that you never noticed before in the initial first stages of the relationship, when the strange things they do are "cute" or "funny." Soon you realize that you're married to someone who sometimes isn't pleasant, who can be downright annoying and irritating or just plain get under your skin until you want to pull out your hair- or theirs.

No matter how romantic they were in the beginning- dedicating songs like "Amazed" by Lonestar to you, you start to find you're "amazed" you haven't suffocated them with their pillow in their sleep because they snore like a freight train rambling through the bedroom at all hours of the night. And it doesn't affect them- but by sun-up, you look a little worse for wear and you become the grumpy one to live with, gritting your teeth as they smile after a good night's sleep and ask you what's the matter.

I know I'm no great shakes when it comes to living with me. I can be extremely irritable when the old hormones kick in and out, which seems anymore to sputter through my system without fair warning as I get older. My husband can attest to the fact that I can be unpleasant (and so can the kids).

There was a time we were "lost" in our marriage though and I was ready to give up- just as I had seen others do before. It's hard to blend together as a husband and wife but even harder to keep your identity when you become part of a whole. That's the thing they don't tell you about marriage- that it's okay to still be YOU, even though you now share your life with someone else who's just as different and individual. I struggled with whether I was losing my identity and that took it's toll because I didn't know where I stood or whether I wanted to be standing there or not.

It took time, but we worked through the problems, which is simply what you have to do. I guess that's part of the surprise that we've made it ten years- Not all couples survive this first decade- some give up, some give it all they have and still find it's just not enough, but then there are the lucky ones who take each other, faults and all, and find a way to piece it together so that the threads mesh together and they can continue onward.

The stories of love I write are the precursors to this mythological creature we chase- the antiquated idea that marriage lasts a lifetime- or a relationship can do that. I still subscribe to the belief that marriages can be built to last and that's why I love writing romantic tales because I believe there is a happily-ever-after on the other side of "The End" whether it lasts 10 years or several decades.

Happy 10 Years Hubby! Let's tack another 10 onto this one.

#SCENTsational Saturdays- #Fave 4- #DreamAngels #Heavenly

There is irony in the fact that this SCENTsational Saturday's favorite is

Victoria Secret's Dream Angels Heavenly.

 Capture the radiance. Live the dream. Love the romance of Dream Angels® fragrance. Luminous and sensual, Dream Angels Heavenly® glows in luxurious warmth. White musk, sandalwood, vanilla and white peony.

Several years ago, when my marriage was much younger, I'd told my husband I'd like a bottle of Frederick's of Hollywood perfume for Christmas. It was pricy, but I loved the fragrance on the little sampler sheet that was in my catalogs. I knew there wasn't a store anywhere close to where we lived, so I kept dropping hints for him to order online or from the catalog. We didn't really know each other all that well at the time, had only been married maybe a year, together two, so he didn't know how to take the hint, at all.

Imagine my surprise when he made a trip to the mall without me and came home with "a little something you asked for." He was so proud that he "found the perfume I asked for," and it even came with a small clutch (that's a purse) but I was beyond crushed. He actually thought he'd went to the right store and got me the right perfume. I thought the smell was just too loud and it gave me a headache and I burst into tears.

Now, I can't remember exactly what was said, but at the time, I was still coming down from the hormones of having a baby and I was so completely taken aback by the fact that he'd gotten the wrong thing, I took the immature route and fussed at him about it. How could he have gotten it wrong? I'd hinted and blatantly told him which one I wanted, had in fact told him he'd have to order it, but instead, he did things his own way.

It turned into a fight, and not a pretty one- if a fight can ever be pretty, because at the time, our marriage was so new and we were learning about each other all the time, finding out things we hadn't been aware of when we first got together....it was like balancing on shifting plates, similar to the tectonic plates that shift and cause earthquakes. It was shaky and scary and uncertain what might set us off.

Of course, he felt awful that it wasn't, in fact, what I'd asked for and after I had my big baby cry, I tried to accept the gift anyway as something unique that he picked out just for me. His intentions were in the right place, but I was left feeling that he didn't know me at all.

The irony in that, is that after nearly 9 years or so, I actually LOVE this perfume because I think of him when I wear it- not the messy argument about it, but the sensual aroma of it and the fact that it was a signature fragrance that I've only ever worn since he and I have been together. It's a scent that I associate with my husband, so I guess that good intentions gone awry do sometimes have a lasting effect- in a good way!

Has a significant other ever given you a fragrance or cologne you just could not stand? Or perhaps, given you a new scent that now, years later, inspires lovely memories and happy thoughts?

 Share with me...

Have a SCENTsational Saturday!

#TuesdayswithTaryn- Q&A with Margaret Ethridge @MKEthridge #TMPress #Author #Interview #readers

Tuesdays with Taryn

Click image above for Kindle version

Please help me welcome Margaret Ethridge, fellow Turquoise Morning Press author to Tuesdays with Taryn. Margaret is author of several short stories, as well as Paramour and Contentment.

What book(s) most influenced you as a writer? Wow. I’ve read my way through so many authors over the years: Nora Roberts, LaVyrle Spencer, Judith McNaught, Julie Garwood…I could go on and on. Recently, I’ve fallen in love with Sarah Addison Allen’s books. They’re so charming and magical. She makes me want to be a better writer.

What book do you read over and over again? There are a few that I consider classics: Perfect by Judith McNaught, Scruples by Judtith Krantz, and Carnal Innocence by Nora Roberts are long-time favorites. In the past year I have read and re-read Outlander & Dragonfly in Amber by Diana Gabaldon as well as Garden Spells and The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen.

Tuesday Trio-

1) Movie- Gone With the Wind

2) Music- Duran Duran

3) Decadent Dessert- Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting

What’s the most interesting or bizarre bit of trivia you’ve learned from researching for a novel? I can’t think of anything bizarre. Most of my research tends to be about physical/medical conditions.

Novel on your Nightstand:

Who/what are you currently reading? An Affair with Mr. Kennedy by Jillian Stone

Whom would you cast as your Hero & Heroine if your book became a movie?

I hope you’re allowing time travel in this casting call.... While writing Commitment, I saw Maggie McCann as a Maureen O’Hara type – feisty, beautiful, and not afraid to follow through once she makes up her mind. Tom Sullivan would be harder to cast, but I think Aiden Quinn could handle it nicely. Or I could handle him… With my April release, Spring Chickens, I definitely had a young Paul Newman in mind the moment I conjured Bram Hatchett. Lynne is definitely the Renee Russo type.

Commitment

Tom Sullivan wants a woman who is willing to accept him as he is. The successful divorce attorney has seen enough of the flip side of love to know better than to promise forever. Women have tried to pin him down, but none have managed to make it stick.

Until Maggie McCann.

Maggie is only interested in one thing. Her fortieth birthday is looming and the tick-tock-tick-tock in her head means her biological clock is about to strike midnight on her dreams of finding Prince Charming. Armed with a new plan for her happily ever, she foregoes the Fairy Godmother routine and makes an appointment with a fertility clinic for a rendezvous with a sperm donor.

The last thing Maggie needs is to get mixed up with a player like Tom Sullivan.

A chance encounter and the opportunity to scratch a decade-long itch prove irresistible, and what starts as a one-night stand turns into a game of cat and mouse when Tom learns of Maggie’s plan to start a family on her own.

To Maggie, messing with a guy like Tom Sullivan is the single-girl equivalent of playing with fire, but she convinces herself to take what she can get for as long as she can and expect nothing more. But Tom falls hard and fast for Maggie, and now that they’re planning to have a baby together he starts banking on his own a happily ever after.

If only he can get her to commit…

To find out more about Margaret and her books
click the image above to go to her website

To find Commitment in other formats or through other sites or more-
Amazon Print

Barnes & Noble
Smashwords
Turquoise Morning Press Bookstore

Thanks so much for stopping by and visiting with me Margaret!