Dreadfully Absent in Mind, Body & Spirit #TuesdayswithTaryn #burnout #tiredauthor

I've been dreadfully absent around here I know. I can't even remember the last Saturday recipe I shared or Sunday Snippits, but I had to step away for a while and I might still be spotty when it comes to posting.

Last month I took a huge step for a "woman my age" and finally took the road test to get my driver's license. I failed MISERABLY the first time, so I had to wait, practice and go back the following week to re-test. I passed with only 1 thing marked off the 2nd time, so I'm now a licensed driver- look out world! Some have already been warned, but I'll share here, just to warn everyone else.

I'm still getting used to the knowledge that I can come and go, pick up things from the store, do the grocery shopping- ALONE!- I can do birthday shopping now for family in my household without them being with me or finding out what I got them before I get to wrap it.

It's definitely given me a new sense of self and a sense of freedom, but there are days that I find myself wanting to go driving, or take off to go visit family and friends while the hubby and kids are at school, but it would be a 2 1/2-3 hour drive to do so, which is frustrating and makes me melancholy during a season that usually rejuvenates me. This year I'm torn between the joy of this newfound freedom and the fact that I can't just go visit my close friends and family at the drop of a hat.

Another reason I have been absent around here has a lot to do with my writing- or the lack thereof. Even with editing and getting help from fresh eyes to see where my faults lie in my writing, I feel like a car stuck in the mud, spinning my tires and getting no where fast~ except exhausted and burned out. And unhappy. Discouraged. Disappointed in myself and I'm mentally exhausted and even though I KNOW I don't want to give up writing, I just feel tapped out....I still have stories to write, begging me from the inside out to bring them to life, but I have no zest, no zeal, no desire to write, right now.

I found myself cycling through edits until all I wanted to do is cry because I'm so overwhelmed by the work I know needs to be done, not just on the one I've been editing, but the ones that come after, which are "1st-Draft finished". Talk about that sense that you are drowning. I found myself promo'ing for fellow authors and myself (for the one book that is pubbed) more than working on my own stuff that I intend to pub. When I did look at my own stuff, it just made me sick to my stomach and well, when you no longer "love" what you do, sometimes you have to step back and refocus and reassess where you are and what path you are going down. For me, I feel like a snowball, rolling rolling rolling, picking up speed, but headed for disaster. I've even backed away a lot from my real life social networking as well. I check in ever so often but not like I was before.

Now Mercury is in Retrograde and has been for about a week and will be till mid-November (the 10th actually), so I'm too superstitious (or silly) (or crazy) to pick up and start ANY new project at this time. I'm concentrating more on things I need to do around my house, making lists for holiday treats I plan to make before Thanksgiving to take to family and friends, playing seamstress to take up my daughter's oversized costume for Halloween (She wants to be Sabrina the Teenage Witch, though no one will get that unless she explains it. She got hooked on the show this past summer on Netflix/Hulu and just LOVES it). Normally I would dress up too, but I'm just not feeling it this year.

Now, even in my absence/quiet- I still have a book available- Castaway Hearts, which I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE it if you'd check it out and let me know what you think of it, but for right now, I think I'm going to step back from writing all together, at least until after the New Year. I've tried before to step away but I don't think I ever truly gave myself time to clear my head.

I'm so tired. My mind, body and spirit need time to rest and adjust and find the heart of my writing again. I think somewhere along the way, it's gotten buried deep beneath everything else in my life. It's the "autumn of my discontent" and on a personal/emotional level, I'm trying to figure out what's best for me and eliminating stress and unhappiness is a big big part of that.

Besides getting my license, I have two very busy kids~ stepson's on the Academic Team and has meets, daughter's in Jr. Beta, chorus & joined a run club. I visited family & friends during Fall Break earlier this month and with the upcoming holidays and knowing I'm not feeling up to NaNoWriMo next month at all, I think I'm going to step back into my life and try to figure out how to find true balance again. I know I don't have it.

I'm not sure I'll post anymore of the recipes I had slated for the rest of the year, but will try when I think of it. Same goes for the Sunday Snippits. And I will post from time to time, if the mood strikes me. If anyone is interested in taking a Tuesday or Thursday spot for some promo, please feel free to email me and let me know.

To close out today, here's an inspirational blogpost I JUST happened upon today that brought me tears and reminded me that I am NOT alone in being a TIRED writer. I just hope I find my way out of Tired, as well- very soon!

I'M TIRED

at ROMANCE MAGICIANS

from @LouisaCornell

Getting Back in the Groove...No Thanks to Mercury

Mercury is in Retrograde (February 23rd-March 17) and my household is surely feeling the effects of it. Little things going wrong, hubby had a sty in his eye last weekend, around the time Merc went Retro, or shortly thereafter. He treated it himself here at home with warm wash cloths and rubbing alcohol, but since then, he's started noticing symptoms of having another staph infection in his nose. He had one a couple years ago and the doctor warned him that once he'd had it, he would always be susceptible if his immune system was vulnerable. Well, with the eye issue and a cold and working some overtime, I guess he's gotten a bit rundown, so it's off to the doctor for him today—to get this cleared up and get him to feeling better.

I’m still working on edits to my manuscript for LOVE BY DESIGN, which seems to be taking longer than I had hoped and I’m not too thrilled about doing “revisions” during a retrograde, but I figure I was already working on them beforehand, so I should be okay.

I’m sort of feeling trapped outside myself though and wondering how I’m going to get this done and whether the minor changes I’m making aren’t actually major changes I should have left alone. Thank you again, Merc, for making me rethink & reassess what I’ve set out to do. You’re such a buddy…a super duper true pal!

I guess really I just need to purge the bad feelings from my mind onto the screen here…perhaps if I relinquish the hold it has on me, this niggling that I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, then I can let it go and come back to the manuscript with fresh eyes. I know I feel like I’m just chopping the story to bits and making it worse, but I know that’s not something that only plagues me.

I’m sure many writers feel that way when they’re “in process”- taking useful critique and trying to weave it into the story, hoping to build up the tension, tighten the sentences, tighten the story and plot line and polish it until it shines.

It’s hard to do when the story is complete and it’s not always as easy to go back in and squeeze in a puzzle piece into the jigsaw that wasn’t there before, but might need to be.

Makes me feel like my puzzle has bunched up on the tabletop though and will NOT lay flat to safe my life or the life of the story. Rework is an emotional thing for an author and there’s a lot of moments where you think—

“Yes, this is working great!”

OR

“Wait, this feels wrong!”

Of course, that leads me to wonder if sometimes it’s better to trust your own gut and stick with what you already knew, to the truth of how your story played out to begin with, rather than trying to make changes that might be unnecessary in the long run. I guess I’ll get it figured out. It’s just a matter of time and hopefully a few more swipes through the manuscript and perhaps after a few more eyes have seen it, maybe they can help me figure out if I reworked it enough, too much or if all I’ve done was for naught.

Maybe Mercury in Retro is trying to tell me something. I guess I shall have to wait and see.

#Writerly Wednesdays- Amazing Things Are Happening 5 Star #review #booktrailer

Monday Mercury went out of Retrograde and it seems things are starting to straighten out a bit, in life. We'd already suffered through having to buy a new washer when we really couldn't afford it and anything that could go wrong, had been...

BUT....

It was Monday that I happened upon, quite by accident when I was checking my Author Central information, a 5 STAR REVIEW on Amazon for CASTAWAY HEARTS, which thrilled me to no end! It is officially my first real Amazon Customer review and I couldn't be happier about it!

Monday was also the day that I put out a final plea on my social networks for votes for my CASTAWAY HEARTS book trailer that was in a Video Contest on YOU GOTTA READ REVIEWS, which I posted about last week. I was in third place at the time, and content in the idea that I could still win a month's FREE Featured Book advertising (for 3rd place) on their website for CASTAWAY HEARTS- it's promo and exposure I wouldn't have otherwise since I haven't invested much in paid promo (can't really afford to at this point).

Like the paranoid nervous little thing I am, I couldn't stop going back to obsessively check my numbers because I thought the voting would end on the 26th and I was holding out for that 3rd place spot. I, of course, later read the rules again only to find that the voting would end sometime during the day of the 27th and then the winners would be announced.

Imagine my surprise of surprises when I went to check it mid-morning and discovered I was in 1ST PLACE! I had been at least a good 40 odd votes behind and then suddenly I was sprinting past the person's video in first place by leaps and bounds. I couldn't fathom why, so I posted about it on Facebook only to find out a few minutes later when I scrolled down my timeline that one of my sisters-in-law had shared it and asked her friends to take a moment to go vote.

By the time I went to bed that night I had a good 50-60 point lead and was still in 1st. It was the next morning when I awoke to find myself in 2nd place and approximately 80 votes behind, but the polls were still open, but I didn't know for how long.

I again posted about it and thanked those who voted that I would still end up in 2nd place, with 2 months of FREE advertising on the site. That beats not winning anything- but...somehow my request for a few more votes at the end were heard and by the time the voting ended, I was in 1st place again with a 50 vote lead.

Here is the

ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE WINNERS.

I will have 3 months of free advertising spots now and it's because of a great many strangers who took a moment to help me out.

I feel like the Comeback Kid, and I'm so full of gratitude to those who voted for my video. It's greatly appreciated and I'm deeply moved that so many took the time to go vote when they didn't have to. To be honest, I hadn't even hoped to be in the Top 3 in a roster of 20 videos, because I haven't entered any contests like that before. I truly am grateful and I feel blessed beyond my comprehension this morning.

If you haven't seen the book trailer, here it is-

Now that I've had my thrill for the week and I'm still a good 8,000 behind on my NaNo, I need to dive into HEART OF THE SURF with all seriousness today, especially after the oddball dreams I had this morning before getting up, about a white/blue beam of light shooting down from the sky at the darkest dawn and liquid silver unicorns the size of elephants that glided by overhead like rumbling thunder.

Please don't forget to stop by

Monday's Christmas with Catherine & Dawson to enter the GIVEAWAY!

Only about 3 1/2 days left to enter, so please stop by and get your entries in for your chance to win! Next Monday it will be a different set of goodies!

#Writerly Wednesday- My next #WIP & Merc in Retro-Perils of the Universe #writing

I'm eager to start on my next novel, Heart of the Surf, the 4th and final book in my Pryce of Love series. Centered around the youngest of the Pryce brothers, and also the last to find love, the story will be a journey for Mark and Alexa Stevens, both of whom have their eyes on the prize of the elite and exclusive surfing competition. Little could they know that their love of sand and surf would also throw them together in another way. Already, I'm gleaning background information about my main characters at odd times, like while I'm showering. I learned a little something about Alexa's grandmother yesterday, so I can feel life being breathed into the story and the characters already.

But....

Mind you, I've never been surfing, never even been to a coastal beach, so this book will be a challenge and there will be research to do, so what better timing for research than just as Mercury is about to go Retrograde.

You see, silly or as superstitious as it might seem in me- I don't start new projects when good ol' Merc's in Retro because I have no desire to "redo" anything later. Not in a big way. There will be enough to be done with edits and polishing once I finish writing the story. Not to mention that I need time to research anyway before I start rattling on about things I know nothing about, but I'm intrigued by the idea of the life of a surfer, so the desire to learn is there.

Of course, writing will be easier still if I wait until after Mercury goes direct again anyway shortly after August begins and my children are back in school. The quiet writing time will help tremendously. It's honestly hard to work and concentrate on writing, to fall deep into my storytelling, when I have someone constantly asking me "Mommy, what's for lunch?" "Can we have a snack?" "Again, why can't we go outside in this triple digit heat?"

(Sandwiches, string cheese or yogurt, I don't want you to resemble the scorched grass in our yard that looks more like bits of hay than living green foliage)

Add to that, I'm also still researching self-publishing, so I have that on my plate, as well. Oh, and the weird dreams- so many of them lately, but I won't bore you with the bizarre and wacky details. I think it's a side effect of the planetary changes. I can feel in my bones. It always opens locked doors to the odd and unusual within me.

And so, I'm also settling back into our routine normalcy around the house after being gone to visit my family and friends in my hometown for 3 weeks. I'm still feeling sluggish today though my mind is racing that I have things to do, people to contact, etc...I can hope to find the balance, but not sure I ever will.

Hope you're having a great Wednesday! I can see the weekend

(and a lucky Friday the 13th) from here!

Fun Feature Friday: Mercury in Retro Love by Janie Emaus @Janie5010 #TMPress @FictionWitches

Click Image to buy for Kindle-

$2.99

A Young Adult Novel

A story about crushes, conflicts and astrological confusion.

Finally, after years of making love predictions for her friends, fifteen-year-old astrologer, Emma Seigel, sees a boyfriend in her future. But there’s one big problem. Mercury is heading for Retrograde in four weeks, and she sure knows what that means. It’s like an astrological PMS. A disastrous time to start a new relationship.

Using her school newspaper column, Emmastrology, she sets a plan in motion and within a week lands hottie Evan Randolph as her boyfriend. She’s a Taurus. He’s a Capricorn. Both earth signs. What could be more perfect? But is he as perfect as her prediction claims him to be? The stars are telling her it’s right. But her heart says it’s all wrong.

Everyday her feelings are growing stronger for someone else, a Leo, so totally not the sign for her. And to make matters even worse, Emma’s actions, caused by her unflinching belief in astrology, get her in trouble with her best friends in the whole world.

Time is running out. Can Emma straighten up this mess she’s in before Mercury goes Retrograde again?

 Author Bio: As a little girl Janie would read newspaper articles out loud to her family and friends, incorporating them into the stories. By the time she was in junior high, she was creating plots and characters of her own. And has been writing ever since. She has published poetry, short stories, and worked as a ghostwriter. This is Janie’s first novel for teens. She lives in Los Angeles, California with her husband. You can visit her at her website.

#TuesdayswithTaryn Q&A with Janie Emaus aka @Janie5010

Tuesdays with Taryn

with Janie Emaus

Please answer the following questions:

What book(s) most influenced you as a writer?

  Let’s see.   I have writers, not books.  Anything and everything by Kurt Vonnegut,  Richard Brautigan, and John Irving.   The quirkier, the better.

What book do you read over and over again?

 I rarely read a book over again.  There are too many to read and not enough time.

Tuesday Trio-

1)      Movie-  Dr. Shivago

2)      Music-   Anything by the Beatles.

3)      Decadent Dessert-  This is hard, since I don’t really eat dessert.  I love cheese after dinner.  Does that make me weird?

What’s the most interesting or bizarre bit of trivia you’ve learned from researching for a novel?   I find it fascinating that many of the things predicted in the old sci fi novels has actually come true.   I’m just waiting for a flying car. 

Novel on your Nightstand:

Who/what are you currently reading?  I just finished “Sing You Home,” by Jodi Picoult.

Whom would you cast as your Hero & Heroine if your book became a movie?

 I’d love to have Molly Quinn of Castle fame play Emma.  As for the hero, I could see either Dylan or Cole Sprouse from Zach and Cody.  Did I just say that?  I watch way too much of the Disney Channel!

 

MERCURY IN RETRO LOVE

A story about crushes, conflicts and astrological confusion.

Finally, after years of making love predictions for her friends, fifteen-year-old astrologer, Emma Seigel, sees a boyfriend in her future. But there’s one big problem. Mercury is heading for Retrograde in four weeks, and she sure knows what that means. It’s like an astrological PMS. A disastrous time to start a new relationship.

Using her school newspaper column, Emmastrology, she sets a plan in motion and within a week lands hottie Evan Randolph as her boyfriend. She’s a Taurus. He’s a Capricorn. Both earth signs. What could be more perfect? But is he as perfect as her prediction claims him to be? The stars are telling her it’s right. But her heart says it’s all wrong.

Everyday her feelings are growing stronger for someone else, a Leo, so totally not the sign for her. And to make matters even worse, Emma’s actions, caused by her unflinching belief in astrology, get her in trouble with her best friends in the whole world.

Time is running out. Can Emma straighten up this mess she’s in before Mercury goes Retrograde again?


 Mercury in Retro Love is due out from Turquoise Morning Press next week!

You can find out more about Janie on her

WEBSITE