Gosh...Has It Been Almost a Week?

I didn't realize I hadn't posted a blog since last Tuesday...wow...

Wednesday hubby was off and we went to get the plastic totes to start organizing all our junk. Thursday I wrote for a little bit..right at 1,200 wds. Friday we took daughter for her kindergarten screening and she did amazing. The woman who went over the testing teased that all the teachers would be fighting over who would get to have her in their class. Quite a bit of it she did as well as a 6 year old. I'm one proud momma.

Then Saturday we started bright and early with moving the stuff from the spare room to the living room so we could then move my stepson's things from his room to the spare room and then daughter's stuff to her brother's old room and then the stuff from the living room to her old room. Insanely confusing? YES. Incredibly exhausting--ABSOLUTELY.

Every bone, muscle, joint, and nerve in my body ached by the time we finished up around 4PM that afternoon. Body parts tried to give out on me- one of my pinkies kept locking up on me(you know that weird sensation you get if you hit your funny bone? Well, I kept getting it in my pinky), my knee buckled and my back stoved up, which leads me to remember that I'm young, but I'm far too immobile. I lay around the rest of the evening with a heated rice pack on my back.

I did laundry the rest of Saturday evening and all day yesterday. I've got two last loads in the washer and dryer, but now I've got more "magically" dirty clothes in the hamper this morning! LOL

Hubby did do the dirty dishes for me yesterday while he was fixing cavatini for lunch.

It was sometime yesterday afternoon that I realized I hadn't written anything since Thursday and even then I couldn't remember where I left off. My brain flatlined on the story and the idea of writing, but last night I opened my file and did write almost 1000 words....so I can't complain too much. I'm not sure I'll get this novel done before I go to visit my family though. I'll be going up this coming weekend. That only gives me a few days to finish 'er up! LOL

Now, it would've been sweet if I had a laptop I could take with me so I could work on my novel in between visiting and whatnot, but I won't be getting that until later this year. Hubby wants a Playstation 3, so he asked if I would want a laptap this year as our anniversary/Christmas presents rolled into one. That works for me. ;o)

Anyway...I'm off and gone to pull up my file and see how much I can get done today...though I'd much rather take a nap! LOL

Happy Writing!

A Little Alteration

I bounced over the 50K mark today. Yesterday I wrote almost 1,000. Today I wrote a little over 3,500.

I went back over my last novel- the 1st in this series and at this point it's finished, but it's just under 66K. Of course, I'm sure once I go back over it and start doing edits and see if there's anything I've forgotten or left out- the word count could grow...but for now, I'm aiming for approximately the same word count for each of the books in my 4 book series. I don't want them to be all over the place.

So, I changed my word count progress bar to show I'm working toward 70K. That's closer to what I'm aiming for and if I come in under that, I'll change my goal amount to indicate where I end up.

That being said, I'm less than 20k away from finishing this one and then it will be time for my brain to take a small break.

I can't complain. I've been working my fingers to the bone over the past couple of years and I've come so far from where I was with my writing...I went from daydreaming about writing, to actually making those daydreams become a reality. If I gave myself time to really think about what I've accomplished since the summer of 2006 with my writing, I would probably going into shock.

I'm proud of what I've done. It's the first time in my life I've taken time to do what I love and make it a priority that fits at the top of my list along with being a wife and mother. But by the same token, I don't want to become so "stuck on myself" that I forget who I really am and what I write and why--- whether I get published or not.

But anyway...I'm rambling and sleeping...not a good combination. LOL I'm off tots!

Night!

Holiday Recovery

Today is the day to recooperate from the long holiday weekend. I love holidays because they are a time to gather with family, friends and good food. It's also a time of stress and the go-go-go mentality. I feel like I've been going nonstop since Thursday and I am WORE OUT! haha!

But I also have my novel to think of, which I haven't worked on since Thursday either because there was just too much going on.

My daughter won a door prize from the registration- a sand bucket full of goodies. They called us Friday morning from the school and told us to come by get her prize.

Saturday was spent in and out of hubby's mom's house, amongst the crowd of family and friends and food and kids galore. We ate delicious homemade foods--gosh...someone made some homemade cornbread stuffing and it was SO good. And then there was banana pudding, chocolate pie and butterscotch pie- all from scratch and topped with merigue. Yummy!

We came home shortly after the egg hunt and I crashed on the couch, not meaning to. Yesterday my parents and sister were here and we had a nice time and relaxed and enjoyed lunch and hanging out together.

Amidst all this, I had no time for writing and so today I'm going to relax more and try to get as much written as I can to get back into the groove. I think the day AFTER a big holiday weekend should be a day off too. I'm EXHAUSTED!

Have a good day...I'm off to write.

Easter Weekend

I didn't actually get much written yesterday. About 800 words, but I was taking my leisure. I watched one of my favorite movies.

I got the menu for Easter Sunday talked through with my mom, so we were straight on who was making what.

The registration went fine, though I found myself tearing up in the car afterwards while hubby went to get me some Chinese and him some Mexican, before we picked girlie girl up from the grandparents'.

We have to take her next Friday morning for the screening for kindergarten and then we've also got to take her for immunization, a physical, an eye exam, etc. etc.

This morning I FINALLY got the bank book balance...I was off by a small amount, but for me, it was a LOT off...even a penny off throws me into a panic. Drives me batty...well, I finally found where it was..something I had meant to deduct, but forgot about. Shew!

Now I'm getting the weekly menu figured up and the grocery list.

I suppose, for humor sakes, I could tell this story on myself. I went out to check the mail late in the day last week. Our mailbox is up from our house and across the road. As I drew near, I saw what looked like a dead turkey laying near the mailbox. Mind you, that wouldn't be impossible because last spring or summer I was out in the yard with my daughter and a turkey flew out of a tree across the road and went right over my head down over our yard and landed in a tree behind our property.

This "dead" turkey was stiff, not moving and my heart started racing because it looked scary and I wasn't sure if it was certainly dead or not. But, as I crossed the road, I could see a hole ripped in it's belly, but it looked shredded like plastic. I got to the mailbox and looked. It was hollow inside and it had a company name branded on it's bottom.

I guess where the winds had been up a LOT here lately, it had blown someone's lawn ornament or target practice turkey over here. LOL

Still, that was pretty scary to see what appeared to be a huge dead turkey laying near the mailbox. I can't help but smile at the thought of it now. Haha!

Well, if I don't post much over this busy busy weekend, I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter with family and friends and good food.

All By Myself...So Glad To Be ALL BY MYSELF....

It's just after 7 and I'm altering the lyrics to All By Myself for the stay at home mom in me. (Maybe I'm not so worried about my daughter starting school...)

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And making lunch was just for fun
Those days are gone

Livin' for more than one
I think of laundry
That I've done
The many meals
I've cooked at home

All by myself
I wanna be
All by myself
Just one time more

Hard to be sure
Sometimes my days are such a blur
And quiet's so distant and obscure
Remains the cure

All by myself
I wanna be
All by myself
Just one time more
All by myself
I wanna live
All by myself
Just one time more

When I was young
I never needed anyone
Making lunch was just for fun
Those days are gone

All by myself
I wanna be
All by myself
Just one time more

Hubby took daughter to work with him and my stepson is off to school and I'm ALL BY MYSELF! :D I feel giddy! hehehe!

It occurred to me this morning when hubby kissed me bye and told me to have fun that I was going to be home alone for the better part of the day. Then I pondered on the fact that I think I've forgotten what it's like to actually have peace and quiet around me and be ALONE. I could run naked through the house if I wanted to...who's going to see me? The cat? LOL

But of course, I'll control that deep desire to strip and go crazy. Haha!

Instead, I'll relax, check emails, take a shower later, talk to my mom and figure out what the meal plan is for Easter Sunday and well, just enjoy this quiet time for writing because it's a rare gift when you're a stay at home mom AND a writer.

I'm going to preface this by saying- Yes, I love my husband and kids. No doubt about that.

But when I look back at my years being single...all I thought about was having a family and a husband and children and how wonderful it would be, to be surrounded by loved ones and others to interact with. Now sometimes I envy my single self. She had all kinds of free time and could do what she wanted, when she wanted. She had sole-possession of the remote, didn't have to cater to anyone but herself and dishes and laundry were small matters compared to the same for a family of four.

Now there are still commonalities between us.

I still get grumpy and hateful and discontent. I still have moments of melancholy and wondering what I'm doing with my life or where I go from here.

But the one thing I don't envy of my old self, who had so much time...is the fact that she didn't have the determination and desire to write as badly as she thought back then. She bumped writing to the side, when she could've used that time to her advantage. She was full of excuses that didn't hold water. But then, she was a much younger, less grown up version of me and she probably would have written a lot of crap and silliness that I now know to avoid.

Even when she wanted to so badly she could taste it, she wasn't ready to write. I understand that now with more clarity and I'm learning not to beat myself up for all the time I thought I wasted...the time I never used. It was preparing me for the here and now.

Now as I've mentioned in several previous posts...writing does sometimes come hard for me when there are illnesses within my family, or other issues that are causing stress and too much noise can drown out the story playing in my head...BUT...

I have learned to utilize my time, SOMEWHAT, and there have been instances I've been able to work through all kinds of noise and activities that I wouldn't have been able to in my younger days. I've done load after load of laundry and dishes in between writing and still gotten a lot accomplished in a day's time.

Oh, my giddiness has me running off at the mouth, so best go. LOL
Have a great Day!

Over the Hump & All the Noise, Noise, Noise, Noise!!

Yesterday I didn't get a lot written...less than 200 words, but today I wrote just over 3K, which brought my total up.

Today's 3K had me in tears as I wrote through it...but then, I was also listening to Lost In You and Driftin' Away by (Garth Brooks) as Chris Gaines while I wrote and both those songs are pretty good about bringing up an emotional reaction for me. But when I'm writing emotional scenes, I try to listen to songs that move me in regard to the emotions that pertain to the characters and what they're going through.

I've not been sleeping good here lately either. Hubby's snoring has been continuous ALL week. I think it's driving me a bit insane..mwahaha! I lay down each night and can't get to sleep for about 45 minutes to an hour. My body wants to fight me when the alarm goes off because I'm losing that little bit of sleep each night, but there's nothing I can do about the snoring, except to sleep in the living room. Haha! Maybe I need some earplugs!

Tomorrow is stressing me out...we have to go register our daughter for kindergarten. She's been driving me batty all week, but the idea of her starting school is beginning to freak me out. Not to mention that when I went looking for her birth certificate and social security card tonight, I found her last immunization paper and it implied that she should have had another shot back in December of 2006, even though they told us she wouldn't have to have anymore until she started school. I'm not even sure which shot she missed, but I suppose we'll get that taken care of pretty soon, before she starts school.

Well, I suppose I should head off to bed. Hubby has been asleep (and snoring) on the couch since the middle of Ghost Hunters. I almost couldn't hear the television. I feel like the Grinch-

"That's one thing he hated! The Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!"

Well, I'm off in search of a good night's sleep and a teensy bit of peace and quiet. From the sound of it, that's doubtful...but we'll see.

Night!

Guilt-Free Break

Yesterday I didn't write anything. I didn't even open my file, but I figured I worked my fingers to the bone Sunday, so it wouldn't hurt anything if I left it alone for a day. It gave me time to collect my thoughts and let the story stew in the file so I could come back to it refreshed.

I'm feeling rather good today and anticipate getting some more writing done.

I'm eagerly anticipating this weekend too. We have an Easter thing with hubby's mom on Saturday and then my parents and sister are coming down on Sunday. I can't wait. I haven't seen my family since Christmas, so it will be nice to get to spend some time with them and hopefully in a couple of weeks I'll get to go up and spend some time with them again for about a week.

Today the wind is ripping around the house like mad and I'm feeling the melancholy of missing my hometown again. A good visit though will fix that and I'm hoping that this coming weekend and then in a few weeks I'll feel even better.

Back to the world of writing though- I'm off and gone. Have a great Tuesday!

Luck O' the Irish!

Happy St. Patty's Day!!

{pinch pinch}to those who've forgotten to wear green today!

I'm up, but barely awake and I've been up for almost 3 hours.

Let me tell you- I love my husband, but last night he just about snored me out of the bed and the room. We went to bed and for at least a good 45 minutes I lay awake listening to him snore. Just when he'd quiet down and I'd get comfortable, he'd start roaring like a freight train again! LOL

Heaven help me, I almost took my pillow and came to the living room to crash on the couch. I don't know when I actually fell asleep, but thank goodness I finally did! haha! Then at 3 or 3:30 my 5 year old, who has the sniffles, started coughing, so I lay awake listening for her to make sure she was okay.

It's any wonder I got up out of bed this morning on time and right now I still keep yawning, which tempts me to lay down on the couch and catch a few extra Z's.

Have a great St. Patrick's Day. Below are three Irish quotes-

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face;

the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,

may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

****

May those that love us, love us

And those that don't love us

May God turn their hearts.

And if he won't turn their hearts,

May he turn their ankles

So we will know them by their limping.

****

Dance as if no one were watching

Sing as if no one were listening

And live everyday as if it were your last.

Broke Free From My Shackles!

Today has completely blown me away. Whatever was holding me back, let me loose. I wrote over 12K today! WooHoo!

Here's hoping that keeps up. My neck and back and wrists are killing me, but it's a goooooood kind of ache that fills my heart with a renewed thrilled of writing.

I had forgotten the joy of writing like this and whatever the case was for my "block," I must have broken through the barrier that was holding me back because it just F-L-O-W-E-D.

Honestly, it was surreal, but I know I can't expect the same results tomorrow, but I'm danged happy about the progress I made today.

Now I'm going to rest my poor old eyes and fingers and well, my entire body so I can be ready for whatever I can get done tomorrow.

Have a good night! I'm pooped.

Downhill Slide

Yesterday was not such a good day, but then neither was today. Hubby took off yesterday and then, of course, he was off today since it's the weekend. My daughter has been viciously clingy and our broadband was screwed up yesterday, so my hubby spent a lot of time on the phone and the computer trying to figure out what was up with it because we couldn't access the internet at all.

I lost all desire to write. I noted on my tag here, that this was actually my current from the 14th. For today, I have written NOTHING.

I'm frustrated. I want to pull my hair out because I feel distanced from my novel, distanced from where I was within it. At one point I probably could've painted a picture of the scenery, but now I'm far removed...or at least it feels that way.

Family issues call to me. Two major illnesses have cropped up with one of my uncles and one of my aunts. I'm worrying about them and simply praying for their recovery during this time.

Time is never what it seems and today I felt lost afloat in a sea of discontentment where my writing is concerned. Too many things were pulling me away from the computer and my writing. I hit a "why bother" moment. Why bother writing? Why bother continuing with this silly dream?Why not have a good cry? LOL

My five-year-old was like a leech, clinging and wallowing me to death and I told her I just wanted to be left alone to cry. She of course, tells me "But I just want to love on you mommy. Don't cry. You will get your books written and get published. You can do it." {shaking head} Oh, the optimism from one so young! Hahaha!

Since I knew I couldn't get myself back into my novel, I took a nap after lunch and by the time I woke up it was supper time. I talked to my sister again on the phone and we had a good laugh about silly things that happen in life.

I'm feeling a little more optimistic now and hope to get some writing done tonight. So, here goes. Hope everyone had a wonderful Saturday.

Motivation...When Did It Go Into Hiding?

Yesterday was a better day, though I came in under 1,500.

So today my pondering is about my motivation and when it went into hiding. I want to write. I want to get this story out, but it seems like there have been distractions piled upon distractions here lately.

Maybe it's something in the planetary placements, or the weather and seasonal changes that are occurring. But it's also in the stress of taking care of hearth and home and the problems that arise a lot here lately.

But then I question whether I'm trying too hard. Am I'm trying to force the story into existance? Or is it because my work area is at the center of the house with noise going on all around me? I've used the headphones, but it seems everybody wants a piece of my time or attention in recent days.

That's not to say my novel isn't moving forward, but I feel like I'm writing in slow-mo. I did break the 30K mark last night. I have a deep desire to finish this novel because I believe in it and feel in my heart I have to write it. I just don't want to push the envelope and break my story or not give it the concentration and dedication it deserves.

Perhaps it's not my motivation that is lacking, but maybe my muse has taken a vacation. LOL In muse, I mean Juniper. She talked my ear off before I started her story. Now she barely speaks.

I must figure out what her deal is, why she's grown quiet and doesn't seem to be coming in as loud and clear as before.

Busy Wednesday

By the time I went to bed last night, I was reluctantly satisfied with my word. I wrote 1,125 wds. That's better than 300. Not as much as I would like to write in a day, but "that'll do pig, that'll do." (To be honest- not sure why I'm quoting Babe- a movie I'm not all that fond of. LOL)

Yesterday was a good day though. We got over the hump and I did get some written, we had pizza burgers for supper, played Candyland for our daughter's sake but then also played a round of Yahtzee, which the kids loved, though my five year old daughter went crazy with the cup and tossing the dice all over the table and onto the floor. Every time she'd go for a certain number on the dice she'd say "Oh, come on 1's (or 2's or whichever)! Yeah Baby!" I swear it was like being at the table with Austin Powers- yet another movie I'm not fond of! LOL

My 9 year old stepson is dealing with nightmares and fears. He's being bullied at school and on the bus and I feel helpless to help him. We've given him advice about the bullies-We told him not to interact with the ones who are doing it. Ignore them and let it roll of his back like water off a duck.

He's also having trouble with bedwetting again. I noticed his room smelled of it last night and I asked him if he wet the bed and he acted scared to tell me and then started giving me reasons, like that he was so asleep he didn't know, but I told him not to worry about it, I would change his bedsheets today and wash them. I asked that he simply tell me when it's happened, so I can take care of it and wash any dirty pajamas and covers so he isn't sleeping in it.

I told him it's not uncommon for kids to still slip up, even at his age and sometimes older. He said he thought I would yell at him. I asked why, and whether someone else done so. He said his stepfather has over the weekends when he's slipped up. I know how deeply this kid sleeps and he MAY NOT realize he's wet himself, but that's no reason to fuss and yell at him over it. I think he's going through a phase where he doesn't feel like he belongs at either house because his parents are divorced. My husband said he went through times like that himself growing up divided between his mother and father. :o(

It was after that talk that he started telling me more about being bullied and having all these night scares- I guess you'd call it, where he thinks monsters are hovering over him and stuff. I feel so bad for him, because I know as an adult, it's easy to say, "There are no monsters and nothing's going to get you. This is YOUR room and there's nothing to be afraid of," but for a 9 year old, that's not the easy explanation for what he thinks he sees and hears. He swears the red light on our heater in the bedroom stares at him and scares him and that he was telling a knock-knock joke and tapped on the bathroom door and he heard the heater go "Who's There?" in an evil voice. I told him his imagination was running away with him.

But after we talked a few minutes before he went to bed and said his prayers, he thanked me for talking to him to try to help and he asked if we could have a family round table so he could talk about what's been bothering him. When he got up this morning, he hadn't wet his bed and I asked how he slept and he said a lot better thanks to the talk we had before he went to sleep. I wish it was that simple though to solve it every time. I've always made it clear to him that he can talk to me about ANYTHING, and most the time he will come to me when he needs to talk. Thank heavens for that, though it may not last as he gets older.

Then I slept with my ears perked last night because my daughter's throat was hurting and she was crying out in her sleep and I put a warm washcloth on her neck and gave her some children's medicine for the sore throat. She's asleep on the couch right now because she's not feeling well, even though she said this morning that her throat wasn't hurting anymore. I think it's mostly the weather changes. Like me, her sinuses drain in her sleep when her nose is stuffed up. Hopefully she'll get to feeling better soon though.

It was definitely a busy Wednesday, so I suppose I can't complain since I did get more written than I probably should have considering how crazy everything was.

Since I've got some quiet time, I think I better get through my emails and get some writing done. ;o) Have a great Thursday!

Slipped

I slipped yesterday. I only wrote about 300 words. I just wasn't feeling up to writing. I was tired and couldn't keep my eyes open when I was sitting at the desk. I did write the 300 or so, but I know I didn't give it my all last night. I was too pooped to party. LOL

Today I hope to get more done, though I'm still feeling rather tired. All this changing of the weather is taking it's toll on me I believe. One day it's bitter cold, the next it's warm enough to go outside in shorts without a coat. Insanity! LOL Winter is not what it used to be, that's for sure and it's not any wonder so many people get sick.

I'm thinking that if I can get this novel finished before my stepson's spring break(the 2nd week of April), and if his mom takes him that week, me and my daughter might be going up to visit my family for the week. If I am able to do that, it will give me a week's vacation away from the routine, give me a break from writing so I can come back refreshed and ready to start the next one. So this is my tentative plan. To put myself on a deadline- I have to finish this book by the end of this month, or at least before the 2nd week of April.

It's been a LONG time since I went up to visit for a week in my hometown. I miss it and I'm starting to get those ol' lonesome blues for it. I don't think I've been up there for that long a stay since December of 2006, so I really am starting to feel like I don't just want it, but I NEED to touch home base again.

It replenishes my spirit to have that bit of time away and once my daughter starts school this fall, I don't know if I'll be able to go up for visits like this, even when she's off for breaks from school.

Some like to hit the spa for rest, relaxation and rejuvenation...but for me...it's heading back to the old stomping grounds, spending time with my family and friends I don't get to see too often anymore, and coming back to my roots again.

Now maybe I'm a sentimental old fool, but my roots are deeply embedded in my hometown. The town has changed a lot since I moved away and sometimes it doesn't feel like the same place, but at the same time, it will always be home to me. It calls to me not to forget where I came from, where I grew up, and how my childhood and young adulthood was shaped by being there.

It reminds me of that song by Brooks and Dunn- Red Dirt Road. It's where the majority of my life's milestones (26 years of my life) happened and to remain true to myself, I have to remember where I'm from. That's where I learned to ride a bike, where I chased lightning bugs, and made my lifelong friendships. That's where my family roots run deep and strong. Where I get my strength from.

And not only that, but it's where my dream of writing was born. And to forget that would be to forget myself. I won't let it happen, no matter how many years I've lived away or how many more I will live way from there. They say home is where the heart is and well, my heart is divided, in a good way. I love my husband and kids and wouldn't trade them for the world, but I also love my family and everything my hometown means to me.

I hope I'm able to make the trip up to visit for that week. My heart aches for missing the closer connection I have with my parents and sister, my cousins, my friends. I talk to my mom and sister practically daily, but it's not the same as being able to gather around the kitchen table, drinking a glass of ice tea and just cutting up and having a nice time with all of us being together. Not to mention that we just never know how long we may have for moments like that.

Here I lead a rather solitary life and even after almost seven years, I still feel like a stranger in a strange land. I have my husband and kids, but outside of that, I'm not sure I'll ever fit in.

Another Good Day

I've had a good couple of days of writing. Broke 3,000 again on daily word count. 30K is getting close enough to taste now, so another milestone marker almost down.

More than that though, I see my story moving forward, changing, transforming. Writing is such a personal voyage for an author. Like a roller coaster ride, the ups and downs in the story tend to carry you through the scary parts, the exhilarating emotions, the confusion and then recognition and conclusion.

So now I'm off to hop on that roller coaster again today and see where I end up.

Happy Writing!

Good Writing Sunday and Word Count Quandry...

I had a good writing day yesterday, though distraction still surrounded me. I wrote 3,002 wds!

I honestly didn't think I'd get that much written yesterday. I was doing laundry all weekend, but I got it caught up- for now. LOL

As you'll note to the side here, I have added a Word Count tag. If I don't forget each morning, I'll post a new one with my new current count. 75K is a general idea of how much I'd like to get written, though if "The End" come before then I'll be okay with that, and if it goes over...that would be all right too. I'm not really sure what to aim for. I think the first book in the series came in under 70k- though I'm sure if needed, I could make it a little longer.

I haven't really studied word count or length of most novels and I'm not sure how manuscript pages translate to book pages, what's expected for specific genres, etc. When doing NaNo- 50k is enough to accomplish the month-long novel writing crazyfest, but I don't want to limit myself if the story needs another 10 or 20k. I suppose though to that it would be easier if I had a certain pub in mind so I could go by their word count requirements. I suppose that would help! LOL

For now, I'm simply enjoying writing, even though missing a good word count per day does kind of bring me down, I'm still enjoying every moment I get some writing done. When I can slip into my characters world. I'll worry about the true word count when I get down to the nitty gritty of editing and preparing for submission.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Broke the 20 and Mommy Fears.

Yes indeed...I struggled yesterday to get my writing in. Distractions mounted from all sides, but I did eventually poke my head into the story again and "Broke the 20."

Next up- 30K here I come. That's my next goal- just to break myself down in 10K increments in hopes of not feeling too overwhelmed.

When I finished the previous book, I had no qualms about jumping head first into this one because my heroine had been talking to me a lot while I wrote the other story. Now though I find times it seems she grows quiet and doesn't want to talk to me like she had been....though last night I'd SWEAR I had a dream about the hero, but it's only a vague remembrance of him and I "feel" like it might have been important, but I can't recall details. UGH!

I really need to start keeping a notepad and pen near the bed or the lamp in the bedroom so that I can jot if I think of something in the night. My brain gets very busy, especially before I fall asleep. Ideas seem to start flowing when it's dark and I'm starting to relax and welcome sleep.

When I was younger, if an idea came to me, I would just get up and stay up 1/2 the night if necessary to get it all out. Of course that was when I was single and lived at home with my parents and sister. Now I have a husband and one kid in school and another at home with me(at least for the time being). I know I have to get some sleep in order to get up and make sure the morning routine is taken care of. I can't stay up all night writing...much as I would like to sometimes.

One of my novel ideas came from a dark Gothic picture I used to have on my background for myspace. I found it during a search and I was drawn to it. The picture had dark bluish/purplish tones and a young woman with long long brown hair that came almost to her ankles. She wore a long white dress or gown and she was standing on a rocky shore looking out to sea. There was a tall tower across the way, but that didn't strike my fancy as much as the ghostly ship in the distance with tattered sails and looking as though it was partially sunken. The young woman's expression was stirring- solemn and mournful.

For weeks it haunted me, calling to me and telling me there was a story there.

And I had to tell it.

Every night the image came to me before I fell asleep, making me want to cry, to breath live into this melancholy young woman...her lover lost at sea, but then it became more than that....regret and guilt also emanated from the picture. Perhaps she had betrayed the lover who was gone....fallen in love with someone else while he was away....and worse still...it was his brother~ who had become her companion and friend, her confidant.

From there, my paranormal historical romance was born. I wrote that one at a feverish pace and finished it in about a month last summer.

All my novels/ideas are the stories of my heart, but that one in particular comes to mind when I think of writing from the heart. The days I worked on it were busy, filled with that passionate desire that comes from writing what you love. I wrote like there was no tomorrow, typed till my fingers throbbed and my wrists ached, but at the same time, I got up every morning and all I could think of was getting to the computer as soon as possible, getting lost in that world and seeing how things played out. It wouldn't let me go until the story was completed. (well, other than our computer crash and the few days it took to have all the important stuff retrieved from the old harddrive--the wait was killer.)

If only all my stories flowed out that easily! I'm just as passionate about my current WIP, but we're in a different "place" now, a transition of the end of school drawing nearer, the beginning of spring, which makes my feet itch to be outside, the knowledge that in a couple of weeks we have to go register our daughter for kindergarten- yet another transition that will be a small blessing and a heartache at the same time when she starts school in August and I have more time to myself. That will be lovely, but I've never been separated from my daughter like this, so it's definitely going to be interesting. My biggest fear- her being out in the big ol' world without me and there being nothing I can do to protect or take care or watch over her if she needs me. VERY SCARY.

The past few years have brought great change into my life. Just since mid-2006, I've written 5 novels and am working on the 6th, something I never thought I'd accomplish. I changed my way of thinking about my writing as a priority and it's been amazing. Now I'm facing this upcoming change with my daughter starting school, and I'm excited to think I'll have all day alone to write my little heart out, but this change is something I'm not choosing to do...it's a necessity- she HAS to go to school and I'm not sure I'm really ready for it. It stirs ambivilance within me and I'm sure this love/hate will continue until I'm used to it.

And I'm sure it will also affect my writing- not so much IN the stories, but in how I go about my work. For now, I'm going to take a deep cleansing breath and try not to worry about my baby starting school. And get back to writing! LOL

20K- Here I come(finally!) LOL

I'm on my way.....

Yesterday I taped a lined notepad post-it in bright green to the top of my computer directly in front me with my goal word counts on it. I folded it back and forth like a paper fan so that I can cut away each piece as I make my goals. Right now I'm staring at *Goal- 20,000 and I'm less than 1,500 away from that now.

I've set myself a goal for every 10k up to 60k and then THE END- which will depend on how much further I need to go after the 60k mark. I thought it might help to hold myself accountable by being reminded of where I am and where I'm headed.

I feel good though because yesterday I did write almost 2,500 wds. A needed improvement and a burst of confidence to see my count back up.

I'm off- need to get some writing done today and keep up the flow.

Best Writing Wishes!

Small Victory!

I did get just over 1600 wds. written yesterday! Yay!

That's better than I had been doing. While I was at it, I also took those "scattered" ideas and organized them in somewhat the order I hope to use them in the story.

All in all, it was a good writing day though I did struggle a bit to keep my attention focused when I started writing, but after I got more into it again, it started to flow. Unfortunately bedtime rolled around too quickly.

I hope to get quite a bit more written today because tonight we're starting our Wednesday family game night and after the kids go to bed, we've got the new episode of Ghost Hunters and Men in Trees, so I'm not sure I'll be able to squeeze in writing this evening.

But if I can get a lot done this morning and early afternoon, I won't feel guilty for taking time away for the shows and I definitely won't feel guilty in regard to the family game night, regardless. It's something we've felt we needed to start including in our busy work/school week to spend time together as a family unit. I'm not sure what the kids will want to play, but I'm kind of hoping for a few rounds of Yahtzee myself. LOL

Hope everyone has a great day, writing or otherwise!

Tiny Steps and Rightness

Last night after supper I opened up my novel and did a refresh-read-through to get myself back to where I was when I left off. While doing so, I did some editings and found a few misspelled words and confusing thoughts. Corrected those and also wrote a little more.

When I checked the word count I honestly don't think I wrote as much as it showed I had, so I suppose last Friday I must have written some because I had almost 850 more last night than I had last Thursday. I know I didn't write that much last night.

Anyway though- I was typing in the heroine's POV and she was thinking back to a past relationship and I realized there was a thread of good conflict hidden in her thoughts. Something I hadn't thought of before. I jotted it down in my notebook on a page of scattered ideas I'd like to work into the novel as I go along.

I love the fact that Juniper talks to me. Sometimes she yells her thoughts and ideas and bugs me to death before I go to sleep, but other times she whispers what it is that's needed and luckily I picked up on that subtle hint last night when she whispered it to me.

I've come to rely on her to tell me the things she wants me to write in her story. She has been the loudest, most talkative heroine I've written. But then, each time I slip into a setting or idea, the characters begin to come forward and talk to me.

When I was writing my second novel, my main character was the hero. He leaned over my shoulder a LOT while I was writing his story, telling me what was going on- things I hadn't seen coming and shocked me with things that moved the story forward in a (good) way I hadn't expected at all.

A strange sense of rightness comes over me at moments like that. It's that place where I think writing is the most satisfying for me as a writer, when the characters are telling the story more than I am. It's when I know they have come to life in my mind, they've matured from the idea of a person to someone who feels as real to me as a family member or friend.

Time Away

I took time for my brain to have a break from writing over this past weekend. My head hasn't been in the right place for it and as I mentioned in the previous blog, there was just too much distraction.

Instead I read when I wasn't doing something around the house. I hated to pull myself away, but I think I went straight from one novel into the other and didn't give myself time to really "take a break." Not to mention that the short time we got out and went to Wal-Mart and I got away from the house for a bit helped me. The only place I usually go during the week is the grocery on Fridays, so it was nice to go somewhere different, that I hadn't been in quite some time.

And while there, I was able to get more printer paper and ink, which I was needing. My daughter tends to use my printer paper for artsy stuff. She likes to draw illustrations and then have me spell out the words for her "stories." LOL (Like mother like daughter- though I don't draw pictures for my stories except with words. HAHA!)

I have things around the house weighing on my mind this morning. Laundry and dishes...but I don't think that stuff ever goes away. Over the weekend I just took it easy and before we came home Saturday afternoon we stopped and rented some movies, so that gave me a break too since we hadn't rented anything in a long time.

Saturday afternoon we watched The Game Plan with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in it and it was a very cute movie. That night we watched The Jane Austen Book Club and I enjoyed that, but it has also inspired me to read all six books. I think of the six I've read 2, but I have a beautiful 3 volume set and brought them out of the other bookcase in the bedroom and put them on my TBR bookcase in the living room as a reminder to myself that it's also something I have aspired to do for a long time- read ALL of them because I know the movies(which I LOVE) give only a glimpse into the stories and some are altered a bit.

Sunday we watched Becoming Jane, so I got a large dose of Jane Austen all weekend and it makes me want to learn more about her as well since I'm fairly certain that some of the things in the movie were assumptions about her life and love because there are things they couldn't possibly know. I might have to find myself a research book about her life.

Also over the weekend I started and finished reading one of my TBR books and I've started reading another, though I might have to put it off if I can get my head back into my own novel. When the writing bug bites, I have to go with it more than reading. That's just all there is to that.

We'll see how things go though. Hopefully I can get back to work after a nice little weekend away.

Have a wonderful Monday!