That's Just Ugly

I got through the first round of revisions on my four book series...not too shabby, but these are, after all my most recent endeavors and therefore written quite a bit differently than the ones prior. I decided to move on to a different story than those so I can come back and go through them again later.

So I went through my historical paranormal romance...a bit tougher, but I made it through with only a few minor abrasions. (mind you this was the 3rd novel I completed so the writing wasn't as tight as the four book series, which I finished this year) I mean sure, I had tension in my shoulders from staring at the pages for hours with little breaks in between, but it wasn't too hard to alter it and fix this and that....So I moved on again-

This one I'm doing now? It's a train wreck- more tension in my shoulders and neck, headaches and eye strain. I feel like this story has chewed me up and spit me out.

Yesterday I went through about 30 pages, then backtracked to the beginning again and only got through 13 pages before I shut it down for the evening. I had a busting headache when I went to bed. This was the 2nd book I finished, my first NaNovel, and my writing was/is CRAP. The sentence structure, the tense, the grammar...when I started going through it again I realized just how much my writing has changed in the past two years that I've been hard at work on these.

I spent quite a bit of time yesterday evening as well as today, scrutinizing over the same sentence until I had it written in a way that made sense and fit the tense. I've reworked so many sentences it's not even a laughing matter.

I've been told by so many authors that writing's the easy part, its the revisions that are hard and I can absolutely agree. As I go through these revisions, I see the striking changes in my form, my voice, the manner with which I handle getting the thoughts out into written word.

I'm actually dreading the moment I go back and start working on the revisions of my very first novel. Mind you, I have revised it before. I had written it in 1st person to begin with, so I went back and changed that. Changing POV is pretty difficult in and of itself, because you can't just change I, me, my, mine, we to he, she, it, them, etc. You also have to take into account your verbs and tense yet again to make sure the sentences flow.

Let it be known I'm not discouraged...just exhausted. I want to make sure these are all polished to the best of my ability before I start sending them in for submissions. Of course, it's amazing just how much a writer's vision and style changes as they go along. I have 8 completed, and the first four, in my opinion are not nearly as good as the last four. I don't mean the stories. I love the stories.

It's my writing that's changed and in a way, perhaps I have changed a bit as well. I know I've grown a lot with each story and that makes a huge difference in how I perceive myself as a writer. That's a really good thing.

I'm not disappointed in my previous misconceptions about "how" I write. In fact, I'm even more determined to improve them, polish them, wrap them in pretty paper and a bow. They'll shine eventually and it will be well worth the painstaking revisions and hours of stress and devotion to them.

I'm getting a late start at this, but I think I'm catching on quick. Now won't that be pretty?