This week has been a rough one on the personal front. A lot going on that is better kept to myself, but let's just say that's why I took a step back and haven't posted in a few days. I've been at an emotional crossroads.
I've added extra scenes to my current revisions, but there were other things on my mind and heart this week that took precedence over everything else.
One was my own ridiculous slide into melancholy- and the sudden overwhelming fear that engulfed me with self-doubt about my writing. I hit a downward spiral and found myself crying like I haven't in a very long time. Made me feel like a silly little child, bawling my eyes out and wondering what makes me think I know anything about writing romance novels.
This sprouted its ugly little head on top of numerous other things- things that are and aren't beyond my control- It's just been a crazy week and I'm looking forward to a trip to Wal-Mart tomorrow, even if it's mostly to pick up darling daughter a new pair of shoes. She's outgrown her 10's and the 10 1/2's she has are really snug...so size 11 it will be!
In the midst of all this insanity I've gotten back to the Gazelle- after a month away. On Monday I did 2 miles. Tuesday was when everything welled up on me and overflowed, so I figured I'd make up for what I missed the day before. Instead of simply doubling my "miles walked"- I decided to try something different- an hour on the Gazelle, just to see how much I could get out of it. I wasn't breaking much of a sweat doing 2 miles a day- so in just under an hour- I tackled 5- so Wed, Thur and today I did 5 miles each. Go me! Now if I can just keep that up 5 days a week! Maybe I'll add a mile or two on the weekends- just to keep me in the habit.
Another thing- my husband and I are both smokers, but the recent price hike has given us a lot to consider. I've been smoking for 16 years, so this is going to be tough, but I know I can do it, though I might need help from one of those smoking cessation products, but it will be worth it to get rid of a habit I shouldn't have started to begin with. I'm truly tired of it and though I haven't quit cold turkey before, I am going to tackle this.
I realized at this very moment that I haven't mentioned my smoking on here before because- in all honesty- I'm ashamed of it and I know in this day and age it's looked down on, but considering I'm finally at a place where I feel I'm done with it, there's no need for me to shamefully hide in the corner. I'm making a good decision for myself and my family and I know that. Please feel free to hold me accountable! LOL (I'm sure support and encouragement from friends/acquaintances would help tremendously.)
It will save us so much money and it will also improve our health, our lives and our children's lives, without a doubt. Please wish us luck in this. Last night we were talking about it and I said something about how we're going to "try" to quit and I said, "Scratch that- we're not 'trying' to quit- We're GOING to quit."
So needless to say, there's a lot of changes occurring in my life now- A lot of turning inward to find answers, to understand and to make major adjustments where they need to be made- emotionally, mentally, physically and health-wise.
Shew! That felt like a mouthful! Have a wonderful Friday and a lovely weekend!