Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Floating Adrift on the Writer's Block Sea....

I'm frustrated.

The seas of writing have calmed
Have been calm for quite some time
I'm left~ floating adrift
As words and inspiration swim away
Gone is the exhilaration of surfing the writing wave
I'm stranded on my board
In the middle of the open waters
The sharks of self-doubt circling around me

The sun beats down
Warming me
But inside I feel an emptiness
Frigid and stinging
A longing mixed with trepidation
When shall the waves rise again
And carry me away on another wild ride?

I lay back
Close my eyes
And slumber
Desperate to capture
Just a fragment of creativity
It sloshes over me
But quick as a flash
The droplets bead off
Or evaporate in the heat
Before I can reel them in

No islands in sight
~No safe harbor~
I cannot even wash ashore
So I continue to float out to sea
Waiting for the next tidal swell
To hoist me from the doldrums
And carry me through
The suffocation of my voice

~taryn raye

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Something I Found...

Not sure what this was from or what I was working on when I wrote it, but it was from June 6, 2000- almost like a journal entry of some sort....or maybe from a self-help workbook or something. Mind you, this was from almost 8 years ago...GEEZ!!


When I write, I picture what my life could be like if I could have the things I feel expressed so poetically that they touch the hearts of all who may read it. When I write, I feel hope in my heart that I have a talent worth sharing with others and touching on a part of their lives the way other writers have touched mine. I want to give back, in a sense, what I have gained and share my feelings and emotions and viewpoints to prove to myself that what I feel is not just that of a SINGLE PERSON, but the feelings and heart of many other people.

I write to escape that sadness and loneliness I sometimes feel, to put into words that I can see, in my own writing, so that I don't feel like a huge ball of confusion. I write to express the pain and agony I don't know how to say with my lips, tongue and vocal cords.

On paper, I can rant and rave and tell people how I really feel without having to look them in the eye or see into their hearts and not see a reflection of my weakness staring back at me. When I write, I feel more concrete and realistic in the way I view the world.

When I write, I feel more and more little pieces of myself (surfacing) I didn't know were there. When I write, I find ME.
Funny how I don't think I would express myself exactly that way nowadays, but the general idea is there, so I suppose my feelings about writing have always been strong in the foundation of it being what makes me, well...Me.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Milkweed on the Wind...

So much for the "newfound" inspiration. I wrote that little bit the other day and not a syllable since. Things have been hectic though.

Friday I just couldn't get into it, knowing we had things to do. Saturday hubby mowed the yard and I planted seeds outside. Sunday the in-laws came to visit, moreso because hubby needed help putting up a basketball goal. Monday my stepson had an appointment with a dermatologist for a rash, so everyone was home and after the Dr. appt. we went to Walmart, Chuck E. Cheese (for the kids) and Shoe Carnival cause "Momma" needed new shoes and yesterday I had both kids home since there was no school because of Election Day.

The weekend seemed to drag on and the first part of the week I was totally out of routine. This morning my daughter thought it was Monday because this was the first day her brother went back to school! LOL

Yesterday I made homemade beef stew in the crock pot, homemade yeast rolls (my great aunt's recipe) and homemade baked apple turnovers. My feet are still throbbing from being on my feet for so long. LOL

Since inspiration is lacking this morning- I'll share my Beef Stew Recipe-

1 package stew beef- cut into smaller bite-size pieces and trim fat off, if necessary or desired
3 Packages of Pioneer Brown Gravy
2 small packets beef bouillon seasoning
1 large onion, cut into bite-size pieces
2 sticks of celery, washed and sliced
3 medium carrots, peeled, sliced in circles
3-5 medium to large potatoes, peeled and cubed in bite-sizes
Water, salt and pepper

Cut up all the vegetables and put in a dutch oven in water enough to cover. Add salt and pepper to suit. Bring to boil, covered for approximately 5 minutes to prep veggies.

In meantime, cut stew beef and sprinkle and toss with beef bouillon seasoning. (In a bowl or on the cutting board)

With a slotted serving spoon, place 1 layer of hot veggies in bottom of crock pot, then a layer of stew beef. Repeat until all meat and veggies are used. Mix all 3 packages of brown gravy into the hot veggie water and pour over everything in the crockpot. Set on low- cover and cook for 8-9 hours, stirring occasionally throughout the day. Gravy will thicken. Stir before serving and add more salt or pepper to taste or if needed. Serves well with rolls (though my great aunt's rolls are the bomb..LOL)

If anyone is interested, let me know and I'll share the yeast rolls and the apple turnovers recipes as well.

Have a great Hump Day!

Friday, May 16, 2008

A Step in the Right Direction

I've said it before- Blossom's story has been slow to "bloom" for me. Yesterday I made a good stride toward getting into it though. I wrote 2,273 words. I was surprised to find myself delving into her personality and POV.

Perhaps my batteries have been recharged because I've been finding myself rolling ideas over and over in my head, knowing the story is beginning to mesh in my mind and come to the forefront. Yay!

I've also got an idea for another series, though not sure I'll dive into that one anytime soon. It's simply emerging in bits and pieces.

It's a gloomy, chilly morning here. Going to hit the Gazelle and get that done and then get my menu and grocery list made up and see what else I can get written today.

Have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Tripping the Light Fantastic

Well, I feel like dancing.

I may have finally come to a breakthrough for my novel. Today I've done a little bit of POV profiling for my heroine, trying to line out the plot and figure out what should happen when.

I tell you what...that's good cause for dancing right there!! LOL

I feel like the light is beginning to shine at the end of the tunnel again, leading me toward that elusive storyline. I don't even remember when I finish the last book and tried to start the next, but I know it's been over 3 weeks since I've really contemplated it and now that I sense it coming to the surface, I can feel it. Almost taste it. It's a wonderful, blissful feeling to realize my writing inspiration is coming back to me.

Hopefully the writing will begin very soon and I can throw myself into the story, heart and soul. It feels like it's been forever.

And for some inspiration otherwise...A thing of beauty--

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Blossoming Into Spring

They are slow to bloom, but when they do, my irises flourish- big and bright and full of life.

Right now I simply have my purple ones in bloom, though the yellow ones are close on their heels.

I'm hoping that Blossom is like my irises...maybe slow to bloom, but when she does, she'll blow me away with her strength and beauty and life.

I hope that her story takes shape, with exquisite curves and twists and motion, allowing me to enjoy writing it and immersing myself in her life and her journey to finding real happiness.

Today got away from me. It rained almost all day(as you can tell from the droplets of water
gracing the petals of my irises) and my hubby was home from work, so my routine was somewhat off and every time I thought I should sit and work on getting my ideas melded, I got distracted from it.
A busy weekend is coming as well. We have plans on Saturday to spend it at my husband's mom's and Sunday we're mostly going to be hanging around home, other than going to town to get take-out Chinese- my Mother's Day treat so I don't have to cook (although I do love cooking with my new stove. LOL)
The only thing I'm missing is getting to spend time with my mom for Mother's Day. I'll call her and talk to her sometime over the weekend though.
If I don't post anything new before Sunday, I wish ALL moms the most wonderful Mother's Day you could hope for.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008


Today a new twist in my story emerged onto the idea front. A twist I hadn't thought of and it was a welcome change from all the jumbled thoughts I've been having that don't fit my story or have nothing whatsoever to do with it.

It's not much of a break-through, but it's definitely a start.

This story is a horse of another color, that's for sure. It's silently loping along, slipping me tidbits in sporadic increments, rather than flowing out in a natural way that I usually experience. Not to mention that the backstory is coming forward more prominently than the current plot itself.

I would say it's like pulling teeth or having a toothache, but this isn't as painful as that. No, this is like sitting on the edge of your seat, waiting, expectant, uncertain what's going to happen, and yet it is also this calm, let-it-be, let it grow and breath and it will come to you in time sort of feeling.

The less I worry about it, the easier I seem to get ideas for I am now a student to my inner self...learning that not all stories are going to come together the same, or as easily as the others(though the previous ones haven't all been a piece of cake!) LOL

Perhaps the planetary placements are falling into an alignment that suits this story better now and maybe that's why I'm not forcing it or trying to write it yet. I popped the top of the can, and now it needs to air out, to free the ideas, to embrace them and welcome them as they come.

I can feel a change coming- I feel as though the ideas are swirling around me, waiting until the right time, when I'm in the right frame of mind to hear the ideas and say, "Okay, that works. That should go into the story."

I had to realize it was time to relax, to be kind to my brain and my heart and allow the peace to flow toward me, rather than trying to run head first into this story. This one needs cultivating, understanding, depth. So rather than scraping from the top, I need to dig deep and expose the heart of the story to myself. It's the only way I'll be able to write it- when I know what's in its heart of hearts.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Stalled Out

Yep, I've stalled out on writing. It's been a while since I've even thought about my novel. But this time of year gets really busy and crazy. School is coming to a close at the end of this month, so there's always those end of school activities that I have to keep up with, what days to put sunscreen on my stepson or to make sure comfortable shoes are wore, etc.

Spring is still tauting me to be outdoors, especially when my daughter gets up and starts begging to go out as soon as it's even slightly warm. Gardening and flowers are occupying my thoughts, when to put the garden veggies out and where am I going to plant my moonflower and my other packet of morning glories. I need to put marigolds around the outskirts of the garden.

I'm still doing my exercise on the Gazelle every day, twice a day. I'm up to doing 3 miles a day total. No significant weight loss yet, but its only been a month and I think I'm seeing more toning than anything at the moment.

I got a new stove with the ceramic/glass top smooth surface. My other one was overheating and making the kitchen into a boiler room when I cooked, then the rest of the house would feel hot as well. It's hard telling what that was doing to our electric bill.

As for writing...I'm giving myself time. For the first four months of this year I wrote almost non-stop. I need to revive, refresh and rejuvenate. I do have some ideas, they just aren't meshing well in my head enough to get them down just yet and I have a lot on my mind. I need to make peace and quiet~ serenity~ a priority and pull it to the forefront right now.

The inspiration and the writing will come when its supposed to, I'm sure. For the time being, I will do the things that need to be done, work through what's weighing on my mind, and try to relax and just take it all in. When the time is right, I'll write.