Today a new twist in my story emerged onto the idea front. A twist I hadn't thought of and it was a welcome change from all the jumbled thoughts I've been having that don't fit my story or have nothing whatsoever to do with it.
It's not much of a break-through, but it's definitely a start.
This story is a horse of another color, that's for sure. It's silently loping along, slipping me tidbits in sporadic increments, rather than flowing out in a natural way that I usually experience. Not to mention that the backstory is coming forward more prominently than the current plot itself.
I would say it's like pulling teeth or having a toothache, but this isn't as painful as that. No, this is like sitting on the edge of your seat, waiting, expectant, uncertain what's going to happen, and yet it is also this calm, let-it-be, let it grow and breath and it will come to you in time sort of feeling.
The less I worry about it, the easier I seem to get ideas for it...so I am now a student to my inner self...learning that not all stories are going to come together the same, or as easily as the others(though the previous ones haven't all been a piece of cake!) LOL
Perhaps the planetary placements are falling into an alignment that suits this story better now and maybe that's why I'm not forcing it or trying to write it yet. I popped the top of the can, and now it needs to air out, to free the ideas, to embrace them and welcome them as they come.
I can feel a change coming- I feel as though the ideas are swirling around me, waiting until the right time, when I'm in the right frame of mind to hear the ideas and say, "Okay, that works. That should go into the story."
I had to realize it was time to relax, to be kind to my brain and my heart and allow the peace to flow toward me, rather than trying to run head first into this story. This one needs cultivating, understanding, depth. So rather than scraping from the top, I need to dig deep and expose the heart of the story to myself. It's the only way I'll be able to write it- when I know what's in its heart of hearts.