Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Less Than—

How do you write about love and joy and happiness when you're feeling "less than?"

I'm feeling less than joyous, less than accomplished- less than interested in what I know I should be doing and that's WRITING.

I just can't seem to wrap my mind and my heart around my characters when I don't have the emotional aptitude in recent days, weeks, months to achieve what I would like to...Perhaps I have a bit of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) or perhaps I've burnt out on romance and love from writing so much in so little time that my love tank is sitting on empty...

I'll give only a 1/4 of that to SAD though and the reason for that is because I have been out of the writing loop for over a year now—not just for a month or so. I can't have SAD year round...At least, I sure hope not! LOL

No, I've pushed myself, burning the candle till both ends have sizzled out and there's nothing left of the wax in the middle except a puddle and no wick to ignite.

I want to embrace the characters of my story and have them pull me down the rabbit hole- sucking me into their world so I can escape mine for a time and get their story finished.

It doesn't seem I have the touch anymore though. I keep looking for it, but half the time I feel like I sit and stare at the words in the file in front of me and I just don't SEE what I need to see. I can't seem to unlock that door or window that leads where I need to follow.

Even making the schedule for myself only takes me so far. I have hours laid out for writing, but when I open that file, nothing happens. I'm not connecting with the characters the way I did before. I even talk to them out loud—thank goodness that's when I'm home alone!—I ask them to talk to me, to open up, but I get no response.

It's frustrating and discouraging and well, when I woke up this morning feeling "less than" it was just all the more discouraging. Yesterday was a bust and today's not looking much better. Going to open the file anyway and see if I can get through some of it.

Got a special blog post coming up tomorrow, so stay tuned!


Stephanie said...

I can't say I have much experience writing, but when I do write, I find inspiration in the people who are a part of my life or have touched my life at some point in time. Obviously my characters aren't the same people as my friends and family but maybe one character has my little sister's attitude but surprises me with my best friend's understanding. I know exactly how you feel though. "Less than" -- I feel that way too. I'm starting something new I like to call project: Xtreme life makeover. I'm hoping when I see my achievements written out I can understand that I have purpose.

Happy writing! I hope you can overcome your "Less Than" mood!

Taryn Raye said...

Thank you Stephanie. I appreciate it.

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