I am a #Writer ~ A Poetic Soul ~ I am a Dreamer #writing #inspiration

(Image from MorgueFile photographer Darren Hester)

I am a writer- a poetic soul- I am a dreamer-

I've known I wanted to be a writer from around the time I was 10 or 11 years old, playing with an old upright Royal typewriter in our basement on hot summer afternoons pretending to work for a newspaper as a reporter, or handwriting my "high-school-sweethearts-happily-ever-afters" and illustrating them in pencil and crayon or colored pencils. My neighborhood friends can attest to this, but the proof was destroyed years ago, so you will never see them! Haha!

I wrote a lot of angsty (horribly embarrassing) poetry in my teens- yeah, that's still around but you'd have to pry it out of my cold dead fingers. I stayed up late on weekends, scribbling short stories and the beginnings of YA novels in those Lisa Frank rainbow-colored-LSD-trip notebooks on pastel pink and blue colored pages until my parents got me a Smith Corona typewriter/word processor and 3 1/2 inch floppies for Christmas the year I was 17. That was also the year they gave me "The Romance Writer's Pink Pages" and a package of paper and a good long talk from my logical dad about how "hard" it is to be a writer, that I might not ever be able to do it for a living without a back up plan and a regular day job, that not everyone can break into the business, just like artists and singers...it's lofty and inspiring, but not always practical.

I continued writing, but never finished anything. A lot of spitting and spluttering. I got older, got a job rather than going to college and had very little time for writing any more. Ah, Life...

Around 21 I started writing a more serious novel, one I consider to be a work of women's fiction after some very personal issues I was dealing with, but the story became hard to write, emotionally- the relationship I was in was failing and though I started taking a writing workshop, I just grew more and more frustrated with my instructor's guidance. I wasn't mature enough to handle criticism, constructive or otherwise. Add to that, I had a fiance who didn't believe in me or my dreams of becoming a writer. The relationship ended after much fighting and arguing and back and forth of "I want you, but I don't know what I want" and "I love you, but I can't love you if you don't have a job." (His wishy-washy, not mine) That is one for the record books of unsolved mysteries...I STILL don't understand it, but I'm okay with how it all turned out or I wouldn't be where I am today.

I tucked away my writing, deeming myself unworthy, incapable, etc. All the self-pity I could wallow in. I wrote angsty twenty-somethings poetry and decided that maybe writing and publication weren't my dreams to chase after all. I did have a few who encouraged me along the way, but most of what I wrote was still poetry, still not quite believing in myself enough.

Fast forward almost a decade, I'd been married 4 years, had a school-age stepson, a young daughter and I was a housewife who hit a very low spot. Writing kept egging me from the corners of my life, reminding me that it was also something I wanted to go with the husband, the family, the life. I couldn't get away from it. It taunted me as I settled in to go to sleep at night- "You NEED to be writing and have something just for you."

I'd never really told my husband how much I wanted to be a writer, so for a while, he looked at me like I was just trying to find a hobby to bide my time as a stay at home mom and wife. He didn't take it seriously, but I started coming back out of my shell, started to think that maybe all the stories in my head needed to be out on the pages. I began to write again, but more seriously than I ever had and the best part- it boosted my self-confidence- but so did the encouragement from my mom(who had always encouraged me to get back to it because she said I had a way with words)- from friends, from fellow writers I was meeting online.

I finally finished that one story- the one that was emotionally hard on me- I finished it in August 2006. Then I discovered NaNo in October and did my first one that November with only my mom and a friend encouraging me to do it- to see if I could write a novel in 30 days~ after all, it had taken me a decade from start to finish on the first one~ I needed to prove to no one but myself that I had more in me and could write it in less time.

And I did it. I penned and finished my 2nd manuscript, then followed that with two more the following year, and 5 the next. Then I hit a slow down- I burnt out, but I still wrote one for NaNo '09 and the most recent one- the 11th one I've written, was a NaNo '10 that I finally finished last month. Now #12 is looming on the horizon, and I know I have more than that hidden inside, bubbling to the surface a few ideas at a time.

As a writer, a poetic soul and a dreamer, I'll never let someone steal it out from under me again. That's just NOT going to happen.

Time Flies...We Haven't Killed Each Other Yet... #Marriage #Love #Anniversary

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”
Katherine Hepburn

Eleven years ago my husband and I met via one of those online dating sites in April 2001. Family and friends worried about me meeting some stranger who lived so far away from my hometown. We continued talking and chatting and by Labor Day weekend that year I had moved in, but it wasn't until June 7, 2002 that we said I do- Today marks our 10th anniversary and I'm utterly astounded to realize it's been that long. A decade had come and gone and boy, did it go by quickly.

Moreover, I'm not going to lie- I'm shocked and amazed we've lasted this long. Marriage is such a disposable commodity in this day and age and I used to think it was crazy just how often people I knew married and then divorced not long afterward. What was wrong with them? Marriage wasn't something to be taken lightly, or at least I didn't think so because I grew up believing that marriage is truly till death do you part. Divorce was not something common in my family history- My parents are still together, my grandparents on either side of my family had never been divorced- they truly were "till death do us part."

Of course, ten years of marriage has taught me a bit about why some marriages last and others don't and it has changed my views on it. Sometimes it might be better to go your separate ways, but you should still work at it first to be sure. One thing I know is that it's not always easy and we had our share of struggles(sometimes still do when we don't agree on things) because it's hard to take two individuals and blend their lives into one. Even something as great as a chocolate and vanilla swirl cone takes work- the mechanics (of the machine) have work together properly to get that swirly blend of heavenly soft-serve perfection. And so it is with marriage...even with warnings from family and friends that "marriage takes a lot of work" and "you don't know EVERYTHING there is to know about this person" it doesn't sink in until later. Much later...

Because it's later when you realize you've married someone with odd quirks and idiosyncrasies that you never noticed before in the initial first stages of the relationship, when the strange things they do are "cute" or "funny." Soon you realize that you're married to someone who sometimes isn't pleasant, who can be downright annoying and irritating or just plain get under your skin until you want to pull out your hair- or theirs.

No matter how romantic they were in the beginning- dedicating songs like "Amazed" by Lonestar to you, you start to find you're "amazed" you haven't suffocated them with their pillow in their sleep because they snore like a freight train rambling through the bedroom at all hours of the night. And it doesn't affect them- but by sun-up, you look a little worse for wear and you become the grumpy one to live with, gritting your teeth as they smile after a good night's sleep and ask you what's the matter.

I know I'm no great shakes when it comes to living with me. I can be extremely irritable when the old hormones kick in and out, which seems anymore to sputter through my system without fair warning as I get older. My husband can attest to the fact that I can be unpleasant (and so can the kids).

There was a time we were "lost" in our marriage though and I was ready to give up- just as I had seen others do before. It's hard to blend together as a husband and wife but even harder to keep your identity when you become part of a whole. That's the thing they don't tell you about marriage- that it's okay to still be YOU, even though you now share your life with someone else who's just as different and individual. I struggled with whether I was losing my identity and that took it's toll because I didn't know where I stood or whether I wanted to be standing there or not.

It took time, but we worked through the problems, which is simply what you have to do. I guess that's part of the surprise that we've made it ten years- Not all couples survive this first decade- some give up, some give it all they have and still find it's just not enough, but then there are the lucky ones who take each other, faults and all, and find a way to piece it together so that the threads mesh together and they can continue onward.

The stories of love I write are the precursors to this mythological creature we chase- the antiquated idea that marriage lasts a lifetime- or a relationship can do that. I still subscribe to the belief that marriages can be built to last and that's why I love writing romantic tales because I believe there is a happily-ever-after on the other side of "The End" whether it lasts 10 years or several decades.

Happy 10 Years Hubby! Let's tack another 10 onto this one.

#WIPlash Wednesdays- #Advice for #Aspiring #Writers

What advice would you give an aspiring author who wants to be published?

1. WRITE- Get those words down, build those worlds up and bring your characters to life. Prove to yourself you can finish that first manuscript and give it wings to expand from there. Write more...
2. NEVER GIVE UP- No matter what anyone tells you, believe in yourself and keep moving forward. There will be bumps in the road no matter what your dreams or goals, it's up to you how you navigate those potholes.
3. BUILD YOUR BRAND- Know what you write and promote yourself. Whether you write romance, mystery, suspense, general fiction- find your niche and work it. Decide early if you're writing under your real name or a pen name. This helps build the brand.
4. BLOG- Talk about your writing, things that interest or inspire you- things that make your writing life YOURS. Do you write with music? Do you have sentimental writing totems? Special habits?
5. SOCIALIZE & NETWORK- Join online groups, follow other authors if you're on Twitter. Post your blog links where others will see them. Interact with authors and readers alike. Join writing associations where you can talk "shop" with other authors about the craft, the industry. Socializing and putting yourself out there is the only way to gain followers of your own & build your reader base. Guest blog and host other authors on your blog.
6. SUBMIT/GO INDIE- Work hard and get that manuscript or manuscripts polished and then submit to publishers who are looking for your kind of stories. Or, take the wheel of your own writing career and drive the self-pub highway. Investigate, talk to other Indie authors. Do you want to go Big House or Small Pub? Or would you rather strike out on your own? Ebook or print or both? Know what you want and go for it.
7. TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE- Most importantly- write for yourself- the stories of your heart. Yes, challenge yourself as a writer, but never try to "shape" yourself or your stories in a way you can't live with. If it makes you uncomfortable or makes you feel you are writing to suit someone else with something you're not proud of, don't do it. Some will tell you to pay attention to what's popular or sought after, but also be true to yourself and write what touches your heart. Paying attention to what's out there is important, but don't let the "popular today" handicap your writing or your confidence for your career future.

When it all boils down to it, do the thing you enjoy most- write. Then pursue this dream with all you have.

Have a great Wednesday! Write on-
I can see the weekend from here.

1 Year #Anniversary- #BookContract #writer #TMPress

March 13th, 2011- I didn't know it that day, what was waiting in my email for me, but when I opened that email up, I nearly hyperventilated with excitement when KJ at Turquoise Morning Press offered me a contract for Castaway Hearts.

Now here we are a year later, less than 3 weeks away from the release of my novel and I still get giddy all over again thinking about the day I opened that email. I was about to start painting the living room, hadn't thought much about my email over the weekend and then decided to check it before I got started because I knew painting was going to be an all day job.

A few days later, March 18th, I signed my contract, then the next day I posted And So It Begins...

Rage Against the Dying of the Light

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
~Dylan Thomas

Fall is still having it out with Summer, vying for whose turn it is to shine. We've had some mornings where it's freezing when I put my children on the bus, but by afternoon, they've shed jackets for temperatures in the 70s and 80s and come running into the house squawking about how "hot" it is.

I crank up the heaters when I roll out of bed and by midday, I'm sweating bullets and turning them all down, if not off. By next morning, I'm cold all over again and adding socks to my wardrobe, even if I'm planning to be in the house all day.

There's a blanket of golden orange and russet on my lawn. The trees stand proud in their state of undress and until Wednesday, these roses (pictured above) were weathering the temperature spikes with the stubbornness of a mule- determined to show off their pretty dressings just one more time before Fall and Winter put them to sleep for months. Not even the frost deterred them or killed their will to survive. Nope...

Dressed in satiny soft petals, they shivered on those freezing mornings, raging against the dying of the light, indeed! I finally decided if they were that determined, I would rescue them. Safe in a vase, nestled together, their skirts are blossoming and they will finish their dance, at least for this story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a while, I know. Since the last blog post I've been busy. I received my first round of edits, and there were quite a few things to work on. The great thing about writing- I'm constantly learning about myself as a writer, about my strengths and weaknesses and learning how to build and mold them to my advantage. It takes perseverance and determination in this business, much like my roses striving to bloom amidst bitterly cold temperatures. I'm dressed in MY strong will and thick skin, baring my soul in the written word rather than the freezing cold, but just the same, I'll do so with stubborn determination to get my dance in. Others must examine and pick the bones, help remove what doesn't work and sometimes you have to build new foundations and add support beams to help smooth it into a work of art that can stand on its own. So far, so good. I have a wonderful editor who is helping make it the best it can be.

So, I spent my time taking care of that through the end of October and got it back to my editor. I still keep thinking about NaNo, but instead of worrying about it, I'm giving myself permission to be okay with the fact that I'm not participating this year so I can concentrate on more important things. Yesterday I decided that in the "between time" of edits, I'm going to pull the unfinished WIP forward and work on it to get it closer to being done.

Then, perhaps I'll give myself a month, my own personal NaNo, sometime after the beginning of 2012 to write the 4th and final in that series. I'm not sure what the next project will be after that, though I know I'll have a lot of work ahead of me when it is time to start promoting Castaway Hearts next spring.

Looks like it's going to be busy from here on in, as this tends to be the busiest part of the year anyway, what with decorating and cooking and family gatherings for the holidays. I can't wait. I have so much to look forward to, I've got the tingles.

Happy Friday!
Write On!