I am a #Writer ~ A Poetic Soul ~ I am a Dreamer #writing #inspiration

(Image from MorgueFile photographer Darren Hester)

I am a writer- a poetic soul- I am a dreamer-

I've known I wanted to be a writer from around the time I was 10 or 11 years old, playing with an old upright Royal typewriter in our basement on hot summer afternoons pretending to work for a newspaper as a reporter, or handwriting my "high-school-sweethearts-happily-ever-afters" and illustrating them in pencil and crayon or colored pencils. My neighborhood friends can attest to this, but the proof was destroyed years ago, so you will never see them! Haha!

I wrote a lot of angsty (horribly embarrassing) poetry in my teens- yeah, that's still around but you'd have to pry it out of my cold dead fingers. I stayed up late on weekends, scribbling short stories and the beginnings of YA novels in those Lisa Frank rainbow-colored-LSD-trip notebooks on pastel pink and blue colored pages until my parents got me a Smith Corona typewriter/word processor and 3 1/2 inch floppies for Christmas the year I was 17. That was also the year they gave me "The Romance Writer's Pink Pages" and a package of paper and a good long talk from my logical dad about how "hard" it is to be a writer, that I might not ever be able to do it for a living without a back up plan and a regular day job, that not everyone can break into the business, just like artists and singers...it's lofty and inspiring, but not always practical.

I continued writing, but never finished anything. A lot of spitting and spluttering. I got older, got a job rather than going to college and had very little time for writing any more. Ah, Life...

Around 21 I started writing a more serious novel, one I consider to be a work of women's fiction after some very personal issues I was dealing with, but the story became hard to write, emotionally- the relationship I was in was failing and though I started taking a writing workshop, I just grew more and more frustrated with my instructor's guidance. I wasn't mature enough to handle criticism, constructive or otherwise. Add to that, I had a fiance who didn't believe in me or my dreams of becoming a writer. The relationship ended after much fighting and arguing and back and forth of "I want you, but I don't know what I want" and "I love you, but I can't love you if you don't have a job." (His wishy-washy, not mine) That is one for the record books of unsolved mysteries...I STILL don't understand it, but I'm okay with how it all turned out or I wouldn't be where I am today.

I tucked away my writing, deeming myself unworthy, incapable, etc. All the self-pity I could wallow in. I wrote angsty twenty-somethings poetry and decided that maybe writing and publication weren't my dreams to chase after all. I did have a few who encouraged me along the way, but most of what I wrote was still poetry, still not quite believing in myself enough.

Fast forward almost a decade, I'd been married 4 years, had a school-age stepson, a young daughter and I was a housewife who hit a very low spot. Writing kept egging me from the corners of my life, reminding me that it was also something I wanted to go with the husband, the family, the life. I couldn't get away from it. It taunted me as I settled in to go to sleep at night- "You NEED to be writing and have something just for you."

I'd never really told my husband how much I wanted to be a writer, so for a while, he looked at me like I was just trying to find a hobby to bide my time as a stay at home mom and wife. He didn't take it seriously, but I started coming back out of my shell, started to think that maybe all the stories in my head needed to be out on the pages. I began to write again, but more seriously than I ever had and the best part- it boosted my self-confidence- but so did the encouragement from my mom(who had always encouraged me to get back to it because she said I had a way with words)- from friends, from fellow writers I was meeting online.

I finally finished that one story- the one that was emotionally hard on me- I finished it in August 2006. Then I discovered NaNo in October and did my first one that November with only my mom and a friend encouraging me to do it- to see if I could write a novel in 30 days~ after all, it had taken me a decade from start to finish on the first one~ I needed to prove to no one but myself that I had more in me and could write it in less time.

And I did it. I penned and finished my 2nd manuscript, then followed that with two more the following year, and 5 the next. Then I hit a slow down- I burnt out, but I still wrote one for NaNo '09 and the most recent one- the 11th one I've written, was a NaNo '10 that I finally finished last month. Now #12 is looming on the horizon, and I know I have more than that hidden inside, bubbling to the surface a few ideas at a time.

As a writer, a poetic soul and a dreamer, I'll never let someone steal it out from under me again. That's just NOT going to happen.

#MemoryLane Mondays My #Dad #Levelheaded #Advice

Where my mom encouraged me to chase the dream and never give up, my dad gave me advice from a level-headed POV. My dad always looked at things from the logic perspective, not necessarily discouraging me, but helping make sure my feet were firmly on the ground and I still had touch with reality.

His words of wisdom always reminded me, the industry is hard, it's not for the faint of heart. Not everyone can get published or are good enough to be. Most people can't make a living at writing without a day job to pay the bills, unless you become a best seller. In the writing business, there is criticism, and most of it IS constructive, but he wanted to prepare me for the not so constructive words that might come my way.
I think he did believe that becoming a writer was as far-fetched as being an artist or a singer or a musician or an actress. Perhaps he thought it very naive and bohemian and unrealistic. What I wanted to be was not the typical career choice that most people aspire to, so how do you encourage your daughter while warning her of the harsh reality that lofty dreams aren't always achieved without hard work and perseverance?

Just like any Daddy, I'm sure he worried that his "little girl" might get her feelings hurt, or get discouraged by the criticism of others. Sometimes I believe his advice was bred from his concern and fear for my well-being, my happiness and his worries that perhaps he hadn't prepared me well enough for life—for my future.

I know he worried because he constantly reminded me that I was growing up in a different generation wherein women worked just as men did and I might not "have a man" like him- like my mom does, who would take care of me. It's a very 1950s mindset, but I do think he worried about me and my sister because most young men had grown to accept, if not expect, their wives to work outside the home and raise a family. I was naive enough to hoped I would get married and be a stay at home mom, a wife and a writer.
I think that's why my career choice worried him- what if I couldn't support myself on my own if I didn't get married or didn't have the higher education to take care of myself? Would I work outside the home? If I married, would my husband expect it of me, or me expect it of myself? How could I pursue writing seriously while working another job? I'm not sure he understood that writing is not something you have to set aside because you have other things going on. Just as you would with any other thing you enjoy, you incorporate it into your life.

What I do know is that he wanted me to be able to live independently, regardless of what my future held, but would I be able to survive in the world as a writer? What if I never got published? How would I take care of me?

The landscape of writing has changed a lot since I first told my parents I wanted to write and it's changed a lot in recent years as well. It continues to change everyday. What my parents gave me is the adaptability to dream big but live realistically because in actuality, I got the best of both worlds by having two parents who balanced each other out in the parenting arena.

A dreamer and a logical thinker helped prepare me for the career I'm now pursuing. One encouraged me to reach for my dreams while the other made sure I kept my feet firmly on the ground.

It's all about balance and structure- having the heart to believe anything is possible and the brains to handle whatever comes at me.

#WIPlash Wednesdays- #Advice for #Aspiring #Writers

What advice would you give an aspiring author who wants to be published?

1. WRITE- Get those words down, build those worlds up and bring your characters to life. Prove to yourself you can finish that first manuscript and give it wings to expand from there. Write more...
2. NEVER GIVE UP- No matter what anyone tells you, believe in yourself and keep moving forward. There will be bumps in the road no matter what your dreams or goals, it's up to you how you navigate those potholes.
3. BUILD YOUR BRAND- Know what you write and promote yourself. Whether you write romance, mystery, suspense, general fiction- find your niche and work it. Decide early if you're writing under your real name or a pen name. This helps build the brand.
4. BLOG- Talk about your writing, things that interest or inspire you- things that make your writing life YOURS. Do you write with music? Do you have sentimental writing totems? Special habits?
5. SOCIALIZE & NETWORK- Join online groups, follow other authors if you're on Twitter. Post your blog links where others will see them. Interact with authors and readers alike. Join writing associations where you can talk "shop" with other authors about the craft, the industry. Socializing and putting yourself out there is the only way to gain followers of your own & build your reader base. Guest blog and host other authors on your blog.
6. SUBMIT/GO INDIE- Work hard and get that manuscript or manuscripts polished and then submit to publishers who are looking for your kind of stories. Or, take the wheel of your own writing career and drive the self-pub highway. Investigate, talk to other Indie authors. Do you want to go Big House or Small Pub? Or would you rather strike out on your own? Ebook or print or both? Know what you want and go for it.
7. TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE- Most importantly- write for yourself- the stories of your heart. Yes, challenge yourself as a writer, but never try to "shape" yourself or your stories in a way you can't live with. If it makes you uncomfortable or makes you feel you are writing to suit someone else with something you're not proud of, don't do it. Some will tell you to pay attention to what's popular or sought after, but also be true to yourself and write what touches your heart. Paying attention to what's out there is important, but don't let the "popular today" handicap your writing or your confidence for your career future.

When it all boils down to it, do the thing you enjoy most- write. Then pursue this dream with all you have.

Have a great Wednesday! Write on-
I can see the weekend from here.