Thursdays with Taryn~ The Older I Get #life #distraction #learning

Life's been smacking me around a bit lately- so much so, that my writing, edits and anything to do with my stories has taken the backseat to everything else life is throwing at me. There are some days that I'd love to just curl up in a ball and sob the day away because I just can't fit everything in. I can't be every place I need to be, or where I want to be for that matter.

My writing's suffering for the sake of Life in general- laundry, meals, school will be out soon for my kids, I've been making an effort to do yoga and dance exercise as well as dealing with emotional/hormonal issues and I have lost nearly 30 pounds (and sticking with this new lifestyle has NOT been easy!) and I'm trying very hard to learn to drive- as an adult - Which is VERY frustrating for me. (I practiced parallel parking for the very first time today and thought I might pull my hair out and grind my teeth down to nubbins! Oh, and the turnabouts...yeah...don't care for that EITHER! But I have to know it.)

So anyway...I might have mentioned this before, but when I lived in my hometown, I walked pretty much everywhere I went— to the store, work, wherever I needed to go, unless I was going somewhere with friends or family who drove. For me, there was no need or rush to get my license, though it would have made traveling more convenient and perhaps opened more doors for me career-wise, but then I never anticipated moving away from where I grew up and I had a teensy fear of driving to cap that off, so I didn't worry about it.

Of course, all that changed when I moved here, a good 2 1/2 hour drive from everything I knew. I never thought it was that big a deal then either, when I first got down here, but as time has marched on, it has become an issue for me. Living in the country is nice, but it places me far from being within walking distance of most anything. Even the closest gas station is a mile there and back and that is one LONG walk, lemme tell ya! I've walked it, and that was back when I still weighed a lot more than I do now!

I don't work outside the home, so that's seemingly convenient, but more and more these days I feel stuck and stagnant and often, when there are things I could go get or pick up or go do, I can't because I don't drive. And oftentimes, it makes me feel beholden to others, having to rely on them to the point that I feel burdensome and I HATE that feeling. I feel like I'm missing a keystone to what's essential to most every living thing- a sense of freedom and movement.

Now I'm here, nearing that big "black" milestone birthday in blah blah blah years, I have two kids in school and I live in the country- quite a ways from town and quite a LONG ways from my roots.

I used to think that being away from where I grew up would get easier with time, but the older I get, it actually seems HARDER. I've been away for almost 12 years, but there are days that make my heart ache so fierce, its hard to get through the day. Maybe it's because my kids are getting older, but maybe it's also because my parents are as well and life is moving too swiftly and it can easily get away from us before we realize it.

That fact does not escape me. Life is far too short and several things recently have reminded me that if you aren't living your life fully, then you need to stop and assess that, especially when you reach a point where you don't know what you're passionate about anymore- or when you don't feel passionately about your life.

I'm still learning...but sometimes I don't feel that I'm living and there are days I feel like a shell of myself. Think a lot of that is what's jamming me up creatively and until I sort myself out, or push through, it's just going to take time...I just don't want to waste time being unfulfilled and unhappy.

Tuesdays with Taryn~ Spring Fever Like Molasses #writing #edits #distraction #life

Spring Fever is rolling through my veins like slow warm molasses as we stumble back and forth between cool weather that chills to the bone and humid days that are perfect for sitting on the bank fishing or sunbathing in the backyard.

It's loading my senses with inspiration and distraction and each force is vying for my attention which has made it hard for me to concentrate on one sole thing at a time. I don't feel like I'm multitasking as well as I used to- I originally started writing this blog a week ago and every day I'd come back and pull it up, alter the title to fit the day of the week and then get sidetracked before I could write another word. I'm really struggling to stay on track. I was also reading through Love By Change, the 2nd story in the Love By Series, but I've put it aside momentarily because I need to work on my craft.

Most recently I've been trying to improve it, by taking a fellow author's advice. I invested in The Anatomy of Story by John Truby.

I'll admit right now...I feel that I fail in this area where a lot of my fellow authors have taken time to study the craft of writing. My writing does not come from years of schooling, research or education. My need to write is simply drilled so deep into my heart that I do just that—write the stories that come to mind. I don't really know a lot about the craft of writing or how to build worlds because I'm such a pantser and I have never attended conferences or craft lectures. That leaves me with some disadvantages, like not having strong story arches and I tend to internalize a lot and I'm sure there are a lot of other things, but now it's time for me to build onto what foundation I already have.
 
I am only a few pages into Truby's book and have taken time to pause so I can work through my "wish list" and my "premise list." I'm not sure WHAT all to put on the wish list. I don't really want for a lot of material things and I'm not sure that's part of the list making or not, but I'm giving it my best shot.

It's also been a LOT harder to come up with that single sentence for each story than I thought, so I've spent the last several days chewing over how to write my premise for each and every story idea I've ever had or written or would like to write.

No small task, so I'm not very far into the exercise, but already I sense a shift in my way of thinking and awoke the other morning realizing that there might be a better way for Love By Design to start than what I have already. In fact, it could mean some major rewrites or rearranging of the current manuscript even though I thought I was nearly to the finish line and ready to self-pub it.

Now that I'm looking at it from this new angle, I'm not so sure. I want to be certain I put out the best possible book for you, the reader, so that it's worth your time and money and that means that I'm taking the time to sort things out and make sure I give you my best. Even it if means putting off the release a bit longer than I hoped to.

Sometimes you just got to know when to take a step back and do what you have to do, rather than what you WANT to do. You'll almost always end up with better results.

Have a fantastic Tuesday!

Six Sentence Sunday~ Ample Distraction #sixsunday #WIP #contemporary #romance

Six Sentence Sunday
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This will be a first for me, and though I'm not getting on the official list, I just wanted to try this out and see how I liked it and whether my visitors would like to see me do this more often.

I'll share an excerpt from my current work-in-progress, Perfect Recipe for Love.

The scene set up is this- Ben Pryce, a restaurant owner in California, is meeting with Sunni Fields, who lives and at a commune that supplies organic vegetables to markets and the public, so they can discuss her ideas for a rootop garden to help his business "go green." His instant attraction to her has muddled his thoughts with pleasure rather than business. Hope you like it~

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“There are several routes we could go.” Sunni leaned across the desk, pointing at the first blueprint design she had laid out for him to see. The rise and fall of her pert breasts were directly at eye level.

Ben took a deep breath and stood, intent to turn his attention to the words coming out of her mouth and not the curves taunting him at every glance.

This is important, man. The distraction of her ample firm breasts and her round bottom isn’t going to get you anywhere.