Tuesdays with Taryn~ Spring Fever Like Molasses #writing #edits #distraction #life

Spring Fever is rolling through my veins like slow warm molasses as we stumble back and forth between cool weather that chills to the bone and humid days that are perfect for sitting on the bank fishing or sunbathing in the backyard.

It's loading my senses with inspiration and distraction and each force is vying for my attention which has made it hard for me to concentrate on one sole thing at a time. I don't feel like I'm multitasking as well as I used to- I originally started writing this blog a week ago and every day I'd come back and pull it up, alter the title to fit the day of the week and then get sidetracked before I could write another word. I'm really struggling to stay on track. I was also reading through Love By Change, the 2nd story in the Love By Series, but I've put it aside momentarily because I need to work on my craft.

Most recently I've been trying to improve it, by taking a fellow author's advice. I invested in The Anatomy of Story by John Truby.

I'll admit right now...I feel that I fail in this area where a lot of my fellow authors have taken time to study the craft of writing. My writing does not come from years of schooling, research or education. My need to write is simply drilled so deep into my heart that I do just that—write the stories that come to mind. I don't really know a lot about the craft of writing or how to build worlds because I'm such a pantser and I have never attended conferences or craft lectures. That leaves me with some disadvantages, like not having strong story arches and I tend to internalize a lot and I'm sure there are a lot of other things, but now it's time for me to build onto what foundation I already have.
 
I am only a few pages into Truby's book and have taken time to pause so I can work through my "wish list" and my "premise list." I'm not sure WHAT all to put on the wish list. I don't really want for a lot of material things and I'm not sure that's part of the list making or not, but I'm giving it my best shot.

It's also been a LOT harder to come up with that single sentence for each story than I thought, so I've spent the last several days chewing over how to write my premise for each and every story idea I've ever had or written or would like to write.

No small task, so I'm not very far into the exercise, but already I sense a shift in my way of thinking and awoke the other morning realizing that there might be a better way for Love By Design to start than what I have already. In fact, it could mean some major rewrites or rearranging of the current manuscript even though I thought I was nearly to the finish line and ready to self-pub it.

Now that I'm looking at it from this new angle, I'm not so sure. I want to be certain I put out the best possible book for you, the reader, so that it's worth your time and money and that means that I'm taking the time to sort things out and make sure I give you my best. Even it if means putting off the release a bit longer than I hoped to.

Sometimes you just got to know when to take a step back and do what you have to do, rather than what you WANT to do. You'll almost always end up with better results.

Have a fantastic Tuesday!

#WIPlash Wednesdays- Neck on the #Writer's Block #Procrastination #Life #Writing

I used to believe in "writer's block" when I was younger, but the older I get, the more I realize that any obstacles that have hindered me as a writer were due to more than just the notion of "writer's block." Procrastination plays a very big part as does Life events and illness and momentary attacks of de-motivation and chinks of doubt in the armor of my self-confidence.

I wrote a lot through my teens- mostly poetry (a good deal of it bad poetry I'm sure) and terrible horrible short stories, with silly illustrations. I'm pretty sure a few of my friends from the neighborhood can attest to that.

It wasn't until my late teens/early twenties that I started thinking more in terms of novels and most of my ideals were for young adult stories that weren't just about budding romances, but with other deeper plot lines- dealing with divorce, peer pressure, etc. Of course, some of what I wrote might work for nowadays, but I think I'd have to take a serious look at how teenagers view the world too- I still like to believe I'm young at heart, but not sure I'm "with the times."

I still have a few, hand-written in Lisa Frank notebooks with pastel blue pages, but most are half-baked ideas that never fully formed. The first novel I started and eventually finished took ten years- not because I was writing all the time, but because I wrote 3/4 of it in a very short matter of time, but then I stalled. I couldn't finish writing it for emotional and personal reasons, the final part of that book became, well, my nemesis. I didn't want to face it, didn't think I had the strength to, sprouted numerous heads of doubt in my mind that told me it wasn't a good story anyway, that there was no point in finishing it and I was just crazy to ever think anything I wrote would ever become anything worthy of print.

So I tucked it away for ten years. My thoughts went back to it, all the time, this nagging sensation that I hadn't finished what I started. It was important to me and I wanted to complete it, but fear and excuses kept me away from it.

I said Life got in the way— I had relationships, work, laundry, etc and well, I'd pull it out and "finish it someday" when I had more time to devote to it.

Someday did eventually come, in 2006 after I'd moved away from my hometown, became a wife, a stepmom and a mother to a child of my own. Balancing the new life I had began to take it's toll and like so many young wives and mothers, I wondered when I would have things that were just for me, as it seemed everything I did was for someone else. There was an emptiness in me, personally. I mean, doing things for others gives you a great sense of pride, but when you don't take time for yourself, it does leave a void that makes you feel less than whole.

I knew what was missing. I didn't write in my journals anymore, I didn't write poetry even, but once in a blue moon and every time I got the opportunity to read a book, I found myself thinking more about my own stories that I once started but hadn't finished. It weighed on my mind, lingered in my thoughts as I lay in bed trying to go to sleep at night.

I honestly don't think my husband knew I wanted to be writer because I hardly ever talked about it to him in those first 5-6 years we were together. I'd doubted myself for so long, I wasn't even sure it was worth it, but the drive within me and the encouragement from a close friend and my mother, as well as other authors I had met online, pushed me forward. The inspiration from others became the driving force to shut down the doubt and lack of confidence that had plagued me for a decade.

This was the place- a crossroads in my life. There was no more "I'll get to it someday." Someday was NOW.

This is something I'm currently working back toward- because I wrote prolifically from 2006 to 2009. It flowed naturally from me like water from a tap. I wrote 9 manuscripts just in that time. I've only written one and a half since then. :( Of course, some of it could have probably used a filter, but it was there.

The well was overflowing. But then I burned out—ran dry—and I felt I was left emotionally drained, not only in my writing, but in my life. I have written a bit here and there, but it hasn't been anywhere near what I now expect from myself as a writer. I slug through any little sliver of progress I make. Since that time though too, there has been an onslaught of social media to pop up that I'm also trying to keep up with along with issues in my personal life so things have gotten overwhelming and sometimes I feel a bit lost from the core of who I am as a woman, a writer, a wife, a mother- all of it. The ebb and flow of Life alters and transforms.

I won't call it writer's block, but I do sometimes feel my neck in on the chopping block as I'm trying to claw my way out of the hole I'm in and get my writing groove back where it belongs so I can pour those stories onto the page and shake a tail-feather, while I'm at it.

Happy WIPlash Wednesday!
Write on!