Battling Conflict Internal

The Internal Editor (I.E. for short) can be a rather tough cookie for us writers. "She" can be loud, obnoxious and noisy and tends to be a blabbermouth. Now, of course, I reference I.E. as a she because "she" is a part of me.

I am sure there are those who appear to have no internal editor and just write like they think, talk, react- giving little thought to grammar, punctuation, tense, sentence structure, etc. I'm sure they have an internal editor hidden somewhere, but perhaps not nearly as mouthy or prominent as others. Perhaps he/she hasn't grown into the behemoth most of us writers have grown to know, love and hate.

Our internal editors are helpful when it comes to revisions, but when writing a first draft of a novel- sometimes not so much. It depends on how we balance out the logic with the fantasy of what we write. Sometimes our I.E. is so locked in on corrections and perfection that it overpowers our ability to write what's in our heart.

"Writer's Block" sometimes settles in as our Internal cautions us that we need to "fix" everything before we can move on. Other times, our characters give up even trying to tell their story because they have to fight and scream over Internal's constant criticisms about what's been told so far, or how it's written and how wrong we are.

Everyone's method of getting their stories down is different. I've found, that for me, it works best when I bind and gag my I.E., toss her in the closet and slip her a little nourishment from time to time so that she doesn't die completely while I type my little heart out.

I'm not ashamed of her by any means. She's a hard worker and points out the things I need to fix, polish, edit, reword, rework, etc.... but there comes a point where I can't think for all the sputtering nonsense she overflows with while I'm in the middle of a first draft.

She drowns out the heart of my story and makes me doubt myself and my ability to write. I have to make her leave for a while because I can't concentrate on what my characters are telling me or follow their lead if I keep listening to her and going back to change this or that.

Do you listen to your Internal Editor while you write your first draft? Or do you lock him/her away until you reach The End?

Is there any way to balance writing and internal editing? Can you do both with success simultaneously? Can they work together in harmony or does there need to some boundary line- a division- between the two?

This has been a recent topic of discussion on fellow writer, Devon Matthews' blog. Feel free to join in the discussion here or there.

What works best for you? I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject.

Life at the Keyboard- My Surroundings

My desk is a mess- truly. I keep a glass of sweet tea nearby at all times, chapstick, lotion (Bodycology Vanilla Buttercream- something I found at Wal-Mart that makes you smell like a giant sugary cupcake), my digital camera, my video camera, notebooks, binders, pocket calendars, post-it notepads, and a cup full of pens and pencils, a pair of scissors and a letter opener I received when I won an autographed book from an author.

I have a picture of me and my best friend sitting atop the computer tower, a constant reminder of how important friendship is. I have a calendar of kittens on the wall, as well as my children's school pictures and a family photo directly in front of me- the importance of time and family.

On the desk I have a bead bracelet I made with my name on it several months ago when my mom and daughter were making bracelets during Fall Break. It hangs from my computer mike- as well as a fuzzy fairy bear I won from a contest on Coffeetime Romance quite a while back. I've got a small carved stone cat (handcrafted in Kenya) my MIL bought me when we went to the Indianapolis Zoo in 2002 while I was pregnant with my daughter. Being a cat person- I count it as a writing totem. Silly as it sounds, I scratch it between the ears when I'm needing inspiration. (and I talk to it- shhh...It's really not much different than talking to my characters hehe)

I also have a small 2 inch tall (if that) orange T-Rex my daughter "bought" with her classroom money at the "school store" that she insisted she had to give me to keep me company at the computer while I work. LOL

I have a fortune cookie slip taped to the top of my monitor-

"You are a lover of words, someday you will write a book."

LOL Too bad I didn't find that fortune YEARS ago! I got it after I'd already written a few manuscripts! But it still struck a chord, so it got stuck to my monitor to remind me of what I AM doing.

Beside it is a cartoon from NaNoWriMo 2007. It has a man and background quite similar to The Scream, by Edvard Munch. The man is sitting at the kitchen table with his laptop- in the screaming pose- and his wife is at the stove with a frying pan.

The quote- "For heaven's sake, Howard, so you didn't reach your NaNoWriMo wordcount goal today. You'll make up for it tomorrow. Now will you quit with the drama and set the table?!?"

That cracks me up, even when I have a regular word count goal that has nothing to do with NaNo. LOL

And that would be the tour of my little non-cave-middle-of-the-living-room writer's cave.

I'm contemplating a weekly blog on Saturdays called Life at the Keyboard. I'd like to find a way to incorporate some normal "pattern" into the randomness of my blog. We'll see. ;o)

Flames of Love

Thought I would do things a little different today- I did add about 2,500 to my revisions yesterday, but it's been a long week with little to say. I think my brain has zoned out on me this week.

So today I'll entertain you with a little poetry on the fly, a little something I just made up to try to get the juices flowing again so I can get back to revisions.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Flames of Love

Born from a spark, it grew outward
Cast light into the ebony darkness
And found me
Friendship blossomed much deeper
~Into Love~
Hold tight, little flame
The winds of time shall attempt to alter
The emotion kindled deep within
So shimmer and dance and grow
And shiver at Love's sweet caress
And the intimacy of a yearning kiss
Illuminate the distant shadows
So that I shall follow where you lead
Remind me of all that is good
And temper my soul with your softness
Lift me up on wings of joy
Bathe me in the light and warmth
Of kindness and passion
Embrace me in the flames of Love
Where the heart knows no boundaries
Where Love exists forever after
It has no dying embers
But flickers with Love's eternal glow

~taryn raye

Look Deeper

I started the run through on manuscript #3 yesterday. Added a few words/sentences here and there, but I've yet to find a good jumping off point to actually add a lot more.

It's time to look deeper.

Originally I had a hard time getting my heroine to open up because I put her in a nasty situation and she hated me for it. She fought me tooth and nail and though it was a hard novel to write because of her stubborness, she eventually came around, let her guard down and opened up. A little. But again- it's time to look deeper.

Deeper into her psyche and her life. Deeper into the pain and recovery. It's time to peel back more layers of the character because she didn't open up completely and I know that. I gave her space- perhaps too much space- but now it's time to make her show me the rest of what she wouldn't before.

Just a matter of buttering her up. ;o)